Lilies are fragant and so is life

2008 - new year, new start

2008-01-17T09:18:00.000+08:00

well, again with the ever changing nature of life... this blog has seemed utterly outdated and detached from my current state of life. It is with great expectancy that I will update and revamp this blog, when I'm free that is.

currently as a trainee teacher in NIE, there are many anecdotes which I learn from my experienced lecturers everyday. If I don't record them down, they will simply be another old and faded memory vanishing down the path of memory when time files.

so, I look forward to a new blog, template and all very soon.

Happy thursday to all. =]

couch potato and trashy novels

2006-10-17T22:58:00.000+08:00

gosh this blog is going to the ruins. i've actually neglected it for an entire month without me even realising it. so while i'm on the computer before time flies into the twilight zone, i had better refresh this blog before it really gets dusty and outdated.

roenin's going on great as a design house, and i've gotta rack my creative brains on how to increase the sales further. so in order to immerse myself further into the entrepreneurial track of mind, i dropped by the national library and picked up a few magazines on creativity and the 'entrepreneur' which contains nuggets of information to aid the small business owners. good, i like the sound of that.

so when i was gonna get out of the library to meet my chuppie and sol for dinner, i happened to glance at the section of returned books. being the trashy novel book whore, my heart leaped for joy when i saw the characteristic classic feminine portraits of chinese women on the front cover for chinese romance novels. without much hesitation, i swooped down on the returned books before any other aunties could prey on them. (you know these books are hot property in libraries, especially in large human traffic flows as the national library) i selected 1 out of the 3 (see, i managed to exercise some self-discipline not to borrow all 3) and happily headed to the self-loan counter.

in the end after dinner, i couldn't stop reading the novel (as usual, i would put aside everything else just to finish the book that i'm reading. i cannot stand it that i have to live the next few minutes of my life not knowing the developments and then the ending of the story. i'm a natural story book page turner, unless the story is really that bad. or that it really freaks me out.) and i decided to head to macdonalds to finish the book. well the haze's kinda bad, and i could do with some aircon and green tea.

i had no idea why, the young macdonalds male counter staff was slightly stunned to see me. i had to repeat my order thrice before he got it that i wanted a medium green tea. i mean... is it THAT hard to understand these 3 words??

besides that side note, i finished the chinese novel of 204 pages within 2 hours. haha. my reading speed is kinda astonishing, a skill that i polished while being in NUS and endless stacks of notes and readings. actually, while on the bus i had thoughts of either hitting the gym or going swimming.

but the haze gave me an excuse not to. and the thought of having to queue for machines at the gym really put me off. so i decided to be a nice couch potato at macdonalds and finish my trashy chinese novel.

hmmm. i liked it! its nice and funny and i burst out laughing a few times while i was sitting at macdonalds. kinda embarrassing.

well i just hope i will get down to reading the serious stuff on the magazines soon enough.

till then. tataz.

currently hooked on:
(computer game) o2jam
(music) ludacris ft. pharrell - moneymaker
danity kane - showstopper

Bedtime Stories

2006-09-23T13:21:00.000+08:00

There was one starry and breezy night not too far ago.
And a lonely princess who could not get to sleep.
So she called her prince chuppie on the phone.
And he told her some of his best fabricated stories of all time.

Bedtime story #1
Once upon a time, there lived a rabbit called Rar-Rar (pronounced as rare-rare). It was a very friendly and lively rabbit. Rar-Rar also had a good friend, who was also a rabbit called Bit-Bit. They were very good friends. (Princess went 'awwww'.)

Rar-Rar was a female rabbit and Bit-Bit was a male rabbit. However, they were both gay. (Princess went 'what!')

So Rar-Rar had a lot of female lesbian rabbit friends and spent a lot of time playing with them. However, for Bit-Bit it was not so. (the soft-hearted princess went 'awww' again.)

For poor Bit-Bit he did not have a lot of male gay rabbit friends. So what he did was to look at dummy male gay rabbits to spend his time. (At this point, the disgusted princess went 'eeeeeeewwwww, he watches male gay rabbit porn!!!' and both the prince and princess laughed so hard their rolled around in their beds. The bedtime story thus abruptly came to an end.)

Bedtime story #2
Once upon a time, there lived an orange. The orange was very sweet. (the princess went 'awwwwww' once again.)

I know it was sweet because I ate it.

The end.

The prince and the princess bellowed and laughed so hard that their royal tummies ached. The phone call had somehow defeated its purpose because it made the princess more awake than ever. But the night's rhythm was transformed magically into a sweet and endearing silent melody that serenaded both the prince and the princess. After a few more laughing bouts about the sweet orange, they both ended the phone call and fell soundly and peacefully into sleep.

The end.

High-Tech Busking

2006-09-20T22:05:00.000+08:00

Another brand new day to be spent on fixing up ikea furniture in the office. It's fun really, you get the feeling of how it would be like to be a carpenter. Which is of course a rarity in modern-day Singapore when its mostly desk jobs and regular run-of-the-mill admin, clerical and other professional occupations.

Blogging again on my trusty dell laptop on the bus back to chuppie's place, cos tomorrow is gonna be spent in pretty much the same way as today. Well, my dell's not really THAT trusty. Yesterday this gadget gave me the scare of my life when I could not turn it on with the AC power adapter. But it could function with the battery, so I was more relieved, knowing that the problem probably wasn't with the laptop component. Smart deduction there after some tinkering - it was the AC adapter itself that was faulty. Dell has pretty efficient service, after calling in the afternoon, they delivered a brand new adaptor the following afternoon (cause I am still on the 1-to-1 parts warranty) to swap for my faulty one.

What was interesting was something that happened in the morning when chuppie and I were on our way to office. In the distance, we heard the sounds of harmonica and my first guess was that there was a busker nearby. True enough, I saw the back of a wheelchair and a grey-haired elderly man, though there was something odd about the occupant that I couldn't really tell.

As we drew closer to the busker, I realized what that was making me puzzled. The frail elderly man was actually asleep with his head on his right fist that leaned on the sides of the wheelchair! So, the mystery was... where are the sounds of the harmonica coming from then?

That explains the title of my blog - high-tech busking. There was actually a music player that was playing the harmonica music in front of the uncle that was wrapped out of sight with some newspaper! Amazing isn't it. I couldn't help but feel a little cheated of my empathy towards that elderly. They too have embraced technology in some ways. Lol.

On our way to the bus stop, we stopped by this provision store, so I suggested to chuppie to get some drinks to get us through the night later. But when we stepped in... hey wait a minute this looks no ordinary provision store. The bulk of items that were placed on the shelves were liquor and beer, like tons of them, including red wine as well. We were of course in no mood for those though the prices were really good (40 bucks for a bottle of the famous grouse??) so we settled on a bottle of mug root beer. You know what, bad choice. 5 minutes later, chuppie was thirsty and decided to have a sip of it and it tasted totally gasless. Just the sweetening stuff and the colouring, and root beer never tasted so bad. So if you see a dingy and odd-looking provision store selling not so ordinary provision store items, I'd advice you not to get anything, you might not know when the items expire!

We're on the bus 81 and going to reach home in a jiffy. But loadsa surprises on the way, my wi-fi keeps on picking up linksys signals (or wireless internet routers along the way) and got as far as to open up my gmail page. That's really not bad for a bus that's on the move, these signals are pretty strong for me to load some webpages eh? Hee hee, its fun to get connected even when you are on the move - for free!

Gonna reach home soon, the bus is just making a few bends around pasir ris. Tata and have a good day ahead. : )

Battle of the Jerseys

2006-09-17T18:09:00.000+08:00

Sunday. Not exactly a very sunny day cos the sky is overcast with dark clouds that look like its going to bring forth huge downpours of rain droplets. which it eventually did anyway.

Anyway, the weather's not important. What is happening in the evening later is important, which is the BIG match between arsenal and man u. Moreover, this afternoon was a family gathering for my cousin's baby boy 1 month anniversary. So chuppie and i took the chance to appear in matching clothes - our purple O2 arsenal jersey.

Guess what. I reached first and saw to my utmost dismay, a white jersey with the huge black letters in front of it 'AIG' - yes, a man u jersey wearing fan who was the friend of my cousin. Then when my chuppie arrived about 15-20 min later, he spotted another friend of that man u guy going up to him and said, 'ah, you lose already lah, now there are 2 arsenal fans to 1 man u fan.'

Then on the way to chuppie and my usual haunt at coffee bean at suntec, we spotted another man u fan as shown by his jersey. I mean... immediately his attention was turned to the both of us and he was like staring at us when we walked past him.

my goshhhh. its really the battle of the jerseys. the secondary school skills of staring and glaring at people have been unleashed again. haha.

to all chelsea, man u, liverpool and arsenal fans waiting for their fateful matches later... well, let me say this... may the best team win.

just not silly red cards.
silly linesman who rule glaring offside mistakes.
silly ball boys who kick the ball into the net.
silly penalties given for oscar-winning dives.

sportsmanship boys. let's play well like the arsenal spirit. :)

Attitude Agent, Delicious Dinner and Barricade Bus

2006-09-16T00:31:00.000+08:00

So I just had a good dinner with chuppie, his friend hansiong and his girlfriend michelle at this place called bedok block 85. The chicken wings are sweet and done nicely for $1 per piece, so it’s a pretty good deal. My main course was fried hokkein prawn noodles for $3 and the serving was huge as considered to my appetite and stomach capacity for food. Next up was satay that hansiong ordered for the table, and it was different from the usual type of satay that we usually have. These sticks of chicken and mutton were surprisingly tender and chewy with the fragrant taste of the meat locked within it. It was 50 cents per stick and of course the group of us reminisced about the good ‘ole days when it was 30 cents per stick. Dessert was cheng teng at $1.50 cos of an added 50 cents of ‘tadpole’ IQ balls, you know the chewy colorful/transparent balls that are always around for dessert stores.

I’m on the way home now, blogging on my laptop and feeling good about it. Like what I always told my chuppie, I feel stupid after hoarding the incredible-3kg-but-feels-like-10kg laptop around the entire day without using it at all. Finally I get the chance to experience the freedom of having mobility with technology. Well, our generation is so often linked to technology, and I feel that I’m slowly getting zapped to being addicted to technology, entertainment and other things that technology offers.

Before I get caught up in my technological utopia, there was this scene that was awfully nauseating on the bus 14 that I am on now. It had rained prior to dinner, so I wasn’t exactly unprepared to see the bus floor wet. As I had the mind to blog on the bus, my ideal bus journey was to find a comfortable upper deck seat, drag my knees and prop it up on the seat in front of me and start blogging away. As I made my way up, I was puzzled. The upper deck’s floor was incredibly wet. Nope, not that kind of wetness that is drying up, nor the superficial wetness that you see from a bus that has just been cleaned. It was that kind of soaking wetness, puddles of wetness. I was still puzzled and so I just picked a seat and sat down.

To my utter horror and amazement, when the bus accelerated away from the bus stop, I heard a swooshing sound and saw this entire line of water being pulled by the movement of the bus toward the front and made a very unwelcome splash sound at the front of the bus. It reminded of the sound of waves, but believe me, my dinner wanted to leave its safe resting place of the stomach and wanted to make a reverse in my alimentary canal. As I considered my options (to go downstairs and check the condition there/just exit this one and take the next bus 14), the bus came to a stop at the next traffic stop and that same stream of water swooshed unceremoniously to the back of the bus. Seriously, if I stayed another minute, the glorious food that I described earlier would really be out.

So I made my way downstairs and the floor was mercifully dry without any hint of leakage of the downpour earlier. Propped myself comfortably on the last row and went typing away. Its kinda hilarious to see passengers taking the stairs to the upper deck only to walk down again in a few minutes with a distasteful facial expression.

This weekend is packed to ze brim! I mean seriously, sat morning I’m going to jurong point sportslink to shop for teva slippers (saw the advertisement on today that said the slippers were going for a whooping $14 only!!), afternoon is karaoke time for family who are celebrating my korkor’s bdae and then dinner at this nice hong kong diner restaurant at novena. At night, there is the very pretty and charming weiling who’s having her bdae party with a poolside theme. Sunday afternoon is dedicated to my cousin’s first baby boy who is having his 1st month celebration, and evening is karaoke time again with ken and sueann! Hee hee hee. So much singing, so much chances of losing my voice. Well I hope not.

Today is also officially the first day of moving into my new office at lowlands road that is opposite heartland mall. Most of the stuff that I saw was fine, albeit the older furnishings and slight cracks here and there. But what was totally lacking was the hostile and unfriendly attitude of the agent from far east organization. As an agent, you have to be approachable and friendly, because we are your clients (I mean we are already past the period of being potential clients!) and it is your job to make us feel happy when we select a certain space that we want to move into.

No. She was totally and utterly terrible. In my opinion, she has failed the primary criterion of being a real estate agent, because of her arrogant attitude. It was the first time that she seen me, and she did not even attempt to shake my hand and introduce herself even when she knew that I was going to be one of the tenants of that place. Bah. And some terms and conditions that we agreed on were muddled and sullied in useless verbal agreements and made void in terms of paperwork. What absolute nonsense. I wonder why we even pay her agent fee when she promised so much and delivered so little. If she messes up anymore, I shall unleash my NUS education and pen letters to every newpaper in Singapore to complain about her. I’m serious! I’m so angry about her silly attitude. No professionalism whatsoever. I look down on people like her that give their occupations a bad name.

From bedok I’ve been blogging and now I’m at YMCA. Thankfully for this dell laptop I have something to do for almost half of my bus journey. Hooray.

Have a good day ahead.

Currently hooked on:
(Gadgets) My Dell Inspiron 6400 with its super duper upgrades
(Magazine) Shape
(Music) Cassie - Me & U

why it's good to wear your arsenal jersey out

2006-09-10T02:27:00.000+08:00

so today i had an event for starhub/nokia to promote the mobile espn and barclays epl programmes for 3G handphones. however, i was not briefed prior to the event, so i had absolutely no idea what would be happening during the event.

since there's gonna be the arsenal match against boro later in the evening, i thought of dorning my happy purple arsenal last season jersey and shorts to turn up at marriot hotel for the event. surprise of all surprises... they bought soccer jerseys for us, the talents, to wear and they bought boy sizes of teams arsenal, liverpool and man u. one of the ladies even remarked,

"wow she wore her own jersey here!"

yeah, seriously i didn't know i was gonna wear the jersey. but it made me a very happy girl for a few hours cos i got to wear the latest season's 'fly emirates' jersey. hee hee.

let you in on a little secret. i think the starhub/nokia marketing department has a lot of arsenal fans. you see...

a huge poster of nokia n73 shows theo walcott in his fly emirates arsenal jersey
other smaller posters show king henry in his O2 purple arsenal jersey
and another smaller poster shows adebayor in his O2 purple arsenal jersey.

wow. no other team has greater amount representation than arsenal! hooray!!!

but as i mentioned above, i was only a happy girl for a few hours... cos they made me return the jersey to them so that they could 'recycle' it for the next event. pout. upset.

but i had a nice photo with theo walcott in the fly emirates jersey. so it kinda buffers the sad emotions a little.

so then the event is over and i meet my chuppie at suntec to take full advantage of the free wireless broadband and happily chose a nice cosy spot at coffee bean. its my turn to get the drink so i decide on a personal favourite - berry'd dream.

as i approach the counter i order a regular sized one instead of the small sized one, since chuppie is sharing the drink with me. the cashier and the staff joked around with me.

"eh, she's arsenal fan lah." one of the staff nudged the cashier's shoulder.
...
"yah, i tell you ah, arsenal is not going to win the epl this year." the cashier said with a smart-ass facial expression.
"oh its okay, we will win the champions league." i retorted without a moment's hesitation while beaming at him confidently.

when my drink is done, he passed it to me and said.
"anyway, don't worry we will win spurs tonight."
"haha, good, remember to give them a good thrashing."

its really funny how interactions between total strangers don't seem so odd anymore when you are wearing your arsenal jersey. the prowess of the arsenal jersey that bonds people together, whether or not they are even arsenal fans. soccer is really an incredible sport ain't it.

if you dorn your man u or chelsea jersey and walk pass me, don't be surprised if i start to vomit/spit/cough. yeah, its my normal, unconscious and immediate reaction, kinda like a knee-jerk reaction.

in case you were wondering why the event peeps didn't buy the top 3 teams of the epl league - chelsea, man u and liverpool, think again of their sponsors. especially chelsea... the missing team.

its 'SAMSUNG'... and it was a nokia event so it didn't seem appropriate to get it! hahahahaha, seriously how lucky of me. i would have chose a slow painful death than wear any of the other 3 team's jerseys.

so tonight we drew with boro. tough luck there... we pummeted the goalpost to no avail while they got in a lucky break. for me, yeah i'm upset but i'm glad because many of the players have so much potential.

look at baptisa... he runs like incredible hulk being unleashed.
look at walcott... his speed leaves the defenders tackling thin air.
look at rosicky... his shots are deadly and have a life of their own to swerve away from the keeper.
look at gallas... he has gallant defending capabilities that are released now that he's with chelsea no more.

so there you have it. they're like metal pieces that are slowly being forged together. they are all strong on their own, but when they find that synergy to work together as a team, that is when the forging is done and a super duper team of alloy would emerge.

looking forward to that day :)

but for this time lapse, i would be proudly dorning my purple O2 arsenal jersey. :D

hum-less podcasts

2006-08-28T03:09:00.000+08:00

mr brown is funny. full stop. i'm seriously glad for singaporean bloggers who are willing to explore 'restricted' issues pertaining to the gahmen and allow singaporeans to laugh at ourselves. a lot of singaporeans are almighty slobs, thinking the world of themselves, so it would be good for us to learn some humility to laugh at our own culture, and at the same time treasure it for what it is.

of course i am referring to the hum-less podcast made by mrbrown. i don't think its really necessary to place the link here cos you can just google it and find it easily. but i salute him for his bravery to tease such a matter of national severity.

which reminds me of this commercial that i saw on tv, that there was a grave looking man who emerged out of a room, in business suit and tie, being addressed as the 'President'. the mass of reporters went up to him with all the microphones, and the 'President' replied, 'i've a matter of grave importance, America is now on sale.'

i don't really remember if those are the exact words but to me it means one important thing, would singapore ever allow such ads to be shown in singapore? that means that we are still not at that level to laugh at ourselves.

which also brings to mind my good malaysian friend sarah, who once remarked that she was shocked when she first came to singapore and saw all the lingerie ads at bus stops and on tv as well. she said, 'wah, singapore so open one ah.' well, take a good look especially in the town area and you are consumed with busting chests and round bottoms that you can take your pick. one pretty splashy one is the one at plaza sing, you cannot miss it, its right at the entrance.

other tongue-in-cheek quotes.

seoul far seoul good - tv variety show on channel 5.
ko-rail - the name of the underground railway in korean, heard in the tv as mentioned above.

currently hooked on:
(electronics) laptops - Dell and Apple
(games) Sims 2 - Playstation 2 and Command and Conquer - Generals - PC

really funny quotes

2006-08-24T17:28:00.000+08:00

some short quotes pack humour in a few words.

en-THAI-ly Thai -> at a signboard spotted at a Thai restaurant along boat quay
cheque it out -> at iBanking banner spotted at POSB website

and somemore but my mind is blank. more later when i think of it.

what goes around comes around

2006-08-24T12:28:00.000+08:00

so far, i'm like your nice-y girl, gossiping about bad welfare, about terrible things that happen. but i'm sure you can see that i'm not a big meanie at heart, and i'm equally sure that my pals can vouch for that.

for this blog post, that mean side is going to show because i'm going to explode. that i'm so angered by some people's antics that it goes way beyond the lines of amusement. i cannot believe that some people are so childish (termed by one of my other good friend) and that they only think of their own ego and interests above all else.

like hello?! the whole world doesn't revolve around you and money is not everything. if profit comes before friendship, then i guess its theatre-coming-to-life with villians disowning their family only to squander their family fortunes to the very last drop.

i digress. but some people digress into profit-making so thoroughly that friends are equals to zero in business.

call me innocent? call me naive?

yes you may because i know how i treat my friends even in business, never as money-making machines. i treat them with respect and dignity, willing to assist them in any issues that they might have.

if you nod your head and agree to this post, and not have a burning sensation within you that it just might be you that i'm writing about, don't worry, to me you belong to the normal 99.999% of the population. but if you just have a tiny weeny bit of uneasiness, don't worry you can just ask me, i won't bite your head off.

unless you're the person that i'm writing about.

so be it.

Thoughts of a sunday night

2006-08-20T23:37:00.000+08:00

Blog time! Again there are so many things to blog about.

1) Was at esmiralda to makan last friday when chuppie and chuppie's mum. it is mediterranean cuisine, so if you do head there someday, please don't order steak or the usual western fish and chips stuff. love the pasta, i tried linguine vongole which is a huge serving of cream pasta with white wine and clams. a note of caution here, unless you are really hungry or love cream pasta, this is not a portion for light eaters. I managed to finish the clams (that is of course!) but left almost half of it untouched. i mean, i didn't finish not because it tasted horrible, but because it was simply too much to finish it all up.

Also, we were lucky to witness their greek tradition of shattering plates on the floor, which was both startling and exhilarating at the same time. For us Chinese, dropping plates on the floor is quite a 'pantang' thing (meaning unlucky), but it was fun to see the waiters dancing to an upbeat tune, happily dropping plates on the floor and passing plates to some of the other guests there (for them to smash as well). well i would say that they are awfully smart to choose the kind of porcelain plates that would not break into really small splinters to injure their customers.

try their special sangria blend that is a mix of merlot red wine, brandy, apple, orange, lemon and other fruits. so its a 'ladies' drink that is sweet but is potent at the same time. 9 out of 10 stars!

bottomline: atmosphere is pretty dark and dim with wavering candlelight, waiters are friendly and offer great service and you get to spot celebrities as well! (we spotted vernetta lopez and florence lian, the singapore idol judge there at the same table). its also a good spot to lighten your wallets, so beware and don't order the skewers that are a huge ripoff for $30 per skewer that is mainly green peppers, onions and some meat.

2) speaking of singapore idol... i'm furious!!! matilda is out and joakim is still in! joakim cannot sing for nuts. seriously. matilda is one powerhouse that can sing and will do singapore proud if she were to represent us at the world idol. she's different, not run-of-the-mill, and i'm upset that she is out. it upsets me even more that there are people in the competition that really cannot sing. gosh. i'm going to stop watching singapore idol.

3) i was appalled to find a crowd of foreign workers happily sitting on our singapore greens at the clementi bus interchange as i was going to meet samuel, adrian and anthony at the 24 hours coffee shop there. it just amazes me how much they appreciate the greens that Singapore has, to the extent of picnicking on it with some newspapers and spending an entire evening there. it wasn't that i saw them first, they were simply within earshot. my gosh, they were happily singing their native songs, especially the big group that was on the 'top' of the mound at the clementi bus stop near the mrt.

so that got me thinking... if by any chance singaporeans were to congregate in some foreign land and sit down on a field to spend time together (considering those are huge odds that we are calculating)... what songs would we sing?

what songs would be considered singaporean by singaporeans?

a) taufik's latest songs - cos he's our no. 1 singapore idol?
b) stefanie sun's latest songs - cos she's our most famous cingaporean celebrity so far?
d) childhood songs like dayung sampan - cos almost everyone would know how to sing it?
e) national songs like stand up for singapore - cos we have all been brainwashed since we were in the primary school of indoctrination?

4) arsenal aston villa 1-1. aston villa effectively substituted all their strikers for defenders, at any one point in time, there were 7 blue shirts in the penalty box. call that a human barrier man.

5) yoo hoo! tottenham lost 2-0 to bolton. *cheers* we hate tottenham! too bad they don't have another case of food poisoning to plead for a rematch. ouchie.

Currently hooked on:
(anime) Tsubasa Chronicles
(korean drama) Stairway to Heaven
(tagline of the day) tottenham lost! woo hoo!

T3 guest anonymous writer?

2006-08-16T20:28:00.000+08:00

Got to make friends with this editor for the T3 magazine Singapore, and if everything goes through I might be a guest writer for the magazine. Like how cool is that boy.

Let's just see how things go. :)

not such a good week.

2006-08-16T20:06:00.000+08:00

in a pretty downcast mood because of some news that I have heard from my friends... one broke up with her boyfriend of 6 years, another is going for an operation in a week's time, another is visiting his uncle in hospital, another is down with a cold...

sobz. you know there are so many different people we meet everyday, when we are on the bus/mrt, waiting for the lift or just walking around that don't really make an impact on our lives. so there's this kind neighbour in my block of flats who are quite an elderly couple who dote on their dog, Peggy quite a bit. The uncle would scrub her back and bring her for her usual afternoon walk everyday without fail. They are kinda like the people that you would see unfailingly if you would to leave home at a certain time. The upsetting news is that the auntie has breast cancer, and because of that I don't see her downstairs at the void deck with the friendly uncle and peggy anymore. My mum said that she is too weak to go downstairs.

as the usual saying goes, life is unpredictable.

time for happier stuff on my blog.

world cyber games was a smash! i really enjoyed watching those professionals slough it out on the stressful stage and battling each other with different strategies and tactics. It is really incredible, one party with more troops is not necessarily the winner, and the party whose hero is being killed first does not necessarily mean that he is the loser. Of course I am referring to the game warcraft and dota. I seriously don't care two hoots for counterstrike or for the other games.

ARGHHHHH!!! My computer is infected with some stupid spyware and virus and this annoying thing keeps on popping out on my taskbar and I cannot force the process to quit in my task manager.

I'm just too annoyed to carry on blogging. bloody @#$%&^%* screwed up my computer.

Currently hooked on:
(music) Pharrell - Can I have it like that feat. Gwen Stefani
Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning *i love listening to old favourites again and again!
(cosmetics) fake eyelashes *hooray no more mascara and no more eye makeup remover for me!
(tidbits) Jack n' Jill Chips - Spicy flavour
(drink) Lee's brand of pineapple juice

mobile blog post

2006-08-13T00:30:00.000+08:00

So many things to blog, hmmm where should I even start?

I'm blogging now on my mobile phone on the bus 106 and traffic is crazy. In fact, that's a major understatement when you see crowds of people thronging the bus at the bus stop. That is perhaps the closest thing to riotting or illegal assembly of people in Singapore. For those blissfully unaware of the reason for this traffic havoc, let me roll my eyes and enlighten you. It is the fireworks competition in Singapore that is the crucial reason for the gathering of peoples from the wide north, south, east and west. You really understand the true magnitude of Singapore's 6.4 million population at occasions like this, when traffic jams have a tailback from suntec city towards the expressway towards tampines. Not to mention spending a whooping 2 hours on an "express" bus and spending that extra money. But I understand that there are poorer people than my plight who made the grave mistake of boarding the car which changed the top light from the green 'available' to the red 'hired'. My deepest condolences and that my heart goes out to you my fellow Singaporeans who had to fork out more money for the peak hour surcharge, increased flag down rate on top of the unrelentless increase of the fare every 30 seconds of immobility.

Right now the 106 is at the former marco polo hotel and is totally full house. It cannot withstand another piece of tuna or sardine if you mind my tasteless pun. And I've got some guy's forearm barely 10cm away from my face cos he's holding on the handrail on my seat. That gross feeling of smelling a stranger's perspiration that close to my face is indescribable, and i think my dinner's gonna defy gravity and come up my alimentary canal.

Can i say hallelujah, he just alighted from the bus.

Next up, I have to resume my feministic stance of inferior men bashing (so note, I only mention inferior men and not all men.) Not all cute guys can emcee well even if they are a cute celebrity and not all girls agree that a guy is drop dead gorgeous. I'm sorry but I seriously don't think that Randall Tan is drop dead cute even when my model friends are gushing at him behind his back. I like men who speak intelligently and are witty and that attracts me more than anything else (for further reference, see specimen 'chuppie'. for even further reference, see earlier enclosed text in brackets above), so his deemed failure to emcee by me is a huge minus. Pretty sad because I'm usually quite liberal with my appraisals for the tanner sex, but this is something that I have to mention.

Next point, I saw my sociology professor at the world cyber games! He brought his young son there who was interested in gaming. Now that's a sweet and thoughtful father. :)

And of course, I have to mention this, I saw mr brown and mr miyagi at the wcg! They even interviewed me on lan gaming... Haha.

Why do cockroaches always run towards me when they usually run away from other people? Their survival instinct is probably to irritate the hell out of me and scare the living daylights out to me.

Can you believe it? This entire post was lovingly hand typed via sms on my O2 mobile phone.

Cheers.

Hunting for office space 1-2-3

2006-08-08T12:24:00.000+08:00

Chuppie, sol and I have been looking for a good rental space for our design house. So it would be helpful to include some of the things to look for when you are viewing office spaces.

Plethora's Check-List for office spaces

#1 Any indication of cockroaches/lizards/insects whether dead or alive.

#2 Flooring - whether it is carpetted, linolium, cement, timber, etc. Carpet means more work, because they attract dust, mites and bacteria easily. If the office is air-conditioned, that means the air would be pretty stagnant and can irritate the office inhabitants easily. Carpetting might feel good for the legs, but if uncared for they will be hell to the nose and to the immune system of the office dwellers. Also, uncared and unloved carpets give off warnings to the office inhabitants via a strong musty and stale smell. Now that is really unnerving.

#3 Toilets - if you are as unpampered as me not to mind squatting toilets, you would be pretty surprised that they still exist in some office spaces in Singapore! Check with the owner if they are willing to renovate it to a squatting toilet, after all it is also a good investment for their property in future. Some offices do not have attached toilets as well, it is shared with the other offices in the same corridor, so check if you are comfortable with that.

#4 Space - Offices come in all shapes and sizes and have different functionality. Shop retail space, office, shophouse, warehouse, industrial complex, soho are different types of office spaces that is commonly asked for. What do you really need? Tons of space that is really inexpensive but is inaccessible? A little space that is really expensive but doesn't allow room for future expansion? Yeah, I'm sure you get the point.

#5 Air-conditioning - Is it centralised or individual? If you are operating a business with irregular hours, individual air-conditioning is a must-have. Most of the centralised air-cons shut off from 5pm, and if you are still stuck in there to do OT (overtime), be prepared to equip yourself with an oxygen tank.

#6 Location - It's the same everywhere, the nearer you get to town, the higher the graph for rental increases exponentially. Accessibility is always a boon, but do you really require your office to be right smack in the center of town? Try the peripheral areas around town and you might get surprising results.

#7 Amenities - We nearly went to view this office space that seemed to be marooned in the middle of nowhere. The nearest buildings that were marked on the street directory were... hotels. The nearest foodcourts and supermarkets were 3 streets down. I think we would all be very thin with all these walking. Make sure that you have some way of getting food/supplies/daily needs without it being too out of the way. Oh, but the walking might help with all the fat accumulated whilst sitting down in the office.

#8 Furniture - Are you shifting to a bigger space from your existing office or hunting for an entirely new space? Some of the office spaces come with furniture e.g. computer tables, shelves, chairs, but the rest are threadbare. Consider your budget if you are moving into an empty space whether you still have allowance to get basic furniture. With shops like IKEA and also 2nd hand furniture shops, you can get furniture even on a budget, trust me.

#9 The Surroundings - Sol nearly went mad last Chinese New Year when the shop below his place looped the same Chinese New Year song for the entire day. Hustle and bustle mean traffic which is good for business, but noise pollution can really decrease work efficiency so make sure that you don't have noisy neighbours.

#10 Power points and Internet sockets - No one can survive without electricity and internet in this digital age. So scan the walls to ensure that there are sufficient power points for your electronic playthings e.g. PCs, laptops, printers, lamps, etc. and internet sockets to be connected to the world wide web.

Alrighto! So that was some advice from someone who has gone office space shopping for the past week. Have a good day ahead!

Currently stuck on:
(music) Jay Zhou Jie Lun - Yuan You Hui
(game) Final Fantasy Tactics - Game Boy Advance

New blogface!

2006-08-08T02:48:00.000+08:00

So yeah, its a brand new blogface and I am getting all excited about blogging once again like the good ole days. Thanks to philip for hosting his photos on rockyou.com, i managed to add a little more movement to this site and have more visual impact (like how my designer chuppie says it).

More photos to be up, when the adrenaline from a new blogface still sustains this spurt to upload new material. Hafta apologise for the squeezed space, that if you want to view the graduation photos properly you would have to click on the bar at the bottom to shift it slightly to your right.

Anyway, something terrible happened today at the royal sporting house at peninsula plaza. When chuppie and I were walking to I.R.C. to do some lan gaming, we saw this aged uncle (my guess is that he is about 50-60+ yrs of age?) who had his head bowed... and he knocked into the frontal display glass!!! Seriously, ouch. He probably didn't notice that it was glass since he was looking down. He hit it so hard that we actually 'heard' the collision rather than see it at real-time, and the after-shocks made the display glass tremble and shook.

Poor thing. Hope there wasn't a big bruise on his forehead.

Currently stuck on:
(music) Christina Aguilera - Ain't No Other Man
(game) Pizza Frenzy by Sprout Games/Command & Conquer - Zero Hour
(book) Stephen King - The Dark Tower Series

July

2006-07-25T00:52:00.000+08:00

July offers me mixed bundles of emotions and contradictions concurrently. It's like hooray I've graduated, but in the end the people who matter are reflected in my photographs - my family, chuppie and a few close friends. How ironic it is to graduate with the feeling of having so little true friends, unlike my graduation from junior college when 2 short years were sufficient 2 bond my classmates and I together. I still keep in touch with some of my jc classmates, albeit lesser as time passes, but I'm sure that it is a hardy bond that will endure.

With graduation comes the grand entrance to the working world. Gosh, for the past 2 months I've been modelling for so many events that that is perhaps more than the whole of last year! Modelling renders me a little brain-fried and degrades me down the ladder of bimbotic-ness. I'm kinda ashamed to admit this, that with more modelling events I actually find myself more self-centered and reflecting upon the unholy trinity - I, Me and Myself. I guess those are the side effects that comes with mindless posing for the camera, smiling for every single thing, catwalk, listening to thin models complaining that they're fat (especially in the backstage... all the time), sudden urge to use the ladies right before my catwalk segment...

Man, after writing all those out it does seem really bad.

But those are only part of the job, its a necessary evil kind of thing. What was uncalled for was the way some of the event coordinators and managers planned the event. Welfare was terrible, everything was last-minute and didn't go according to schedule (well there is a big difference between this and flexibility I'm sure). I don't want to name names, It's not nice to pinpoint on a blog that is in public, but all I can say is that japanese management sucks. Big hint enough I suppose, anyway if we've met up for a meal recently I'm sure you have heard me complaining.

So we're all gearing up for philip's bday party? :) Yay... I'm looking forward to it. See ya peeps soon.

the expression of chillin'

2005-12-02T17:08:00.000+08:00

last wed i was supposed to go clubbing. to be more precise, i think i asked many people to go down to zouk cos it was ladies night. well, in the end i was my own spoiler and i didn't go down to zouk. main reason is because my chuppie can't club due to his torn ligament, other reasons include friends who are not going down... lack of enthusiastic response from my usual clubber friends... la da la da.

well not that i missed my healthy dose of nightlife. i was out at timbre near ROM, a cafe, bistro and bar that has live bands performing there every night except for sunday. when i was there , it was this band called EIC who performed and they just rock! but as a budding sociologist that can't seem to stop analysing or poke at the seemingly unconscious or nonconscious levels of meaning that permeate our social sphere... i was looking around and wondered...

what is it about music that we like?

is it that beat that gets us grooving, tap our fingers to or move our heads slightly to resonate along with it?
is it the lyrics that are imbued with meaning in our everyday lives?
is it the tune that is melodious to our ears?

do people listen to music for different purposes?

cos its usually not just music... but lounging around, lazin' with a nice cool erdinger or hoegaarden beer or martini. its a social activity that people get together to try to talk amidst the sound level. more than just that... perhaps it is that people sit down and its too confrontational to just sit face to face and talk. so they need distractions aka drinks and music to ease off the tension from there.

alrighto. enough about timbre. they played many good rock songs and i really enjoyed that with the erdinger beer that chuppie and me shared, with the great company of the gregarious bunch of faz, jason, joan, imran and some other friends...

next on the chill list.

location: hooha at pasir panjang village
pals: hanson, samuel, aaron, philip, mia, eugene, aaron's sis laura and of course my chuppie.

well it was hooha's 4th anniversary. so there was fosters... actually my first time at it which was not bad in the beginning but turned increasingly bitter... cos it went warm. urgh.

catching up on gossips, scandals, murder on the dance floor, red light districts, 5 pound finger and all. that i realised i have been missing out of all these events for a good whole 4 months and stopped clubbing or even suppering with them altogether.

all because of aNUS's hectic killer 5 module per semester workload. argh. don't even get me started. and no aaron, it cannot be compared to your project 7 modules class. hmmmph. i insist. go think about your joan sandra's strong and firm musical ladies' fingers. :p

so dudes and dudettes... its not my fault yah. go blame NUS.

too bad we didn't have the chance to shift up into the smaller lounge area with the live band where customers can sing songs from a whole repertoire. cool huh. at no additional charge.

that's all for chillin in a week review. looking forward to unleashing more energies in my nightlife next week. keke.

aftermath of exam blues and rainy days

2005-12-01T15:07:00.000+08:00

ok... i guess all the Nus students can't stop complaining about exams and how bad it was, how killer the paper was, how idiotic the questions were, how merciless the lecturers were... blar blar blar, me included.

exam blues were odd... as my mind pranced through the endless tasks of tasks to do (i.e. clean up the potato chips under my table as i was snacking intensively during exams), and my body and will struggled with the new 'unmomentum' of not having notes to read, textbooks to scan through, readings to highlight and exams to 'look forward to'. its just odd. its like a sudden jump into a pool with clothes on. its like you expect it and still feel that its unexpected all at the same time.

so now i'm starting on my new rhythm of holidaying, not lazing around, but going to work at my printing company StudioBlack along waterloo street,
back to modelling stints and events,
back to clubbing,
back to my chillin nightlife,
back to blogging.

dammit. just forgot a password to one of my photo albums. fish!

i hate it when i have so many accounts and different passwords and i forget. oh help me. i hope the password lights up in my head like some eureka lightbulb.

after a long long break, i'm back

2005-11-30T01:19:00.000+08:00

pissed off with moblog. tried logging in for almost 6-8 times to no avail. but anyway the tides have changed and once again i find that the grass is greener on this side... on the blogspot side. i'm gonna bring this website into a whole new revamp with new templates and photos and graphics with whatever my mediocre photoshop and html skills can muster.

anyway it has been a very long break since my last blog post that is extremely apparent i'm afraid. throughout the past few months that i've been occupied with routines and romance, i've got caught up with the hustle and bustle of life and forgot the little pleasures and effort that i once took in blogging, designing and making everything look pretty.

heck i even stop putting makeup altogether.

but not that i'm really grumbling. growing into a grown-up can be such a chore.

which reminds how funny it is that my mum changed her reaction towards me putting on makeup. in the past she would be like full of fascination and make funny remarks like "it looks like you are drawing a painting on your face", "where are you going again? why need to put so much makeup?" and the current transition to "why never put makeup when you go out?" "eee, look so ugly without makeup?"

my funny mummy. totally adore her.

anyway exams are over. feeling nostalgic over my last semester of intensive exams because next semester would be entirely focused on my thesis rather than on modules. it seems as though i'm going to end my stint in aNUS. not that i'm really complaining either.

the past few months have been a marvellous time of my life. my life of a short 21 years till now... and the best 3 months so far... spent in the sweetness and embrace of my chuppie hubby baby :P everyday is a different day because of him and i really am very fortunate to have found him and cross paths with him.

i shudder to think that bus journeys would be that mundane and meaningless.
i shudder to think that handphone calls would be troublesome and routine.
i shudder to think that mornings would be apprehensive.
i shudder to think that nights would be lonely.

here's to you my darling chuppie hubby. muacks.

and for all other things... stay tuned as lilyger's on a rampage and vengence to change her blogskin to something that is in lily's taste... designerful, tasteful and beautiful. haha. totally original.

best sunday

2005-05-02T01:47:00.000+08:00

today - sunday is a revelational day of my life.
today - the day i went back to my first love Jesus
today - the day that God started to make me dream dreams for Him again
today - a day of breakthrough.

God told me that He missed my fellowship, and that He missed me. Seriously, i think Jesus is the most romantic person on the whole wide world... nothing can compare to the love poems and promises in the Bible that was penned for each and everyone of us as humanely creatures on this world.

i always pride myself that i'm walking with Jesus in every part of my life journey, that i'm holding His hand and i would never want to deviate from Him or leave His presence. that every step i take i want Jesus to be there right beside me.

God asked me... 'Do you know why i enjoy holding your hand?'
'I don't know Jesus.'
'Many people hold my hand and they tug it. They want my attention, to bless them, to follow them to the direction that they want Me to go to, or to do something for them.'
'What about me Jesus?'
'Everytime you hold my hand, you won't tug it, but you give it a tight squeeze to remind Me that you're there waiting for fellowship with me. That you don't want me to do anything for you but only that You enjoy and want to dwell in My presence.'

that put a big fat smile on my face. there were sooooo many occasions that i will be walking alone somewhere... along orchard road, on the way home, along the corridors of NUS tutorial rooms... and suddenly burst out laughing or grin like some idiot... cos God will remind me of a beautiful verse in the Bible and say to me...

'Lily, that verse was written for you.'

went jamming with kun, lum, weijian, waiyin, marcus and zara at potong pasir. they sang the songs that kun penned, and one with weijian wrote. its amazing how the Holy Spirit can unleash the creativity in us to do wonders like that. all the songs were awesome. i did a few fill-ins for some of the songs that they played as a cameo appearance as a female vocalist. when i was jamming with them... God reminded me of the following.

'if you wanna fly like an eagle, don't hang around turkeys.'

i was hanging around a group of 'eagle friends' who inspired me to pen songs of my own. during the altarcall during service earlier... God mentioned this sooo deeply in my heart...

'Lily, use the talents that i have given you. I can make you into a Plan A if you are willing to commit your life into My hands. Pen songs that will be sang by masses of people in future. Spread the love of Christ through your lyrics, melodies and your voice.'

everything is in resonance with each other. life cannot be that full of coincidences. i believe in whatever God told me today... and i'm determined to take my life and my walk with God to the next faith level.

but like what pastor kong said... new level new devils. the devil has been trying to stop me from serving. 2 weeks ago i was struck by a large bout of illness so i didn't manage to even attend my own service, much less serve. this sat i locked myself out of my house cos i didn't bring my keys. but i'm determined not to let these obstacles sway me from serving God in my minstry. in spite of obstacles... i went, through sheer raw faith. and i was doubly, mightily blessed. my faith got stretched even farther when my chorus board IC put me to do the sideboard all alone even though i did not serve for 3 months due to my little stint in the miss sg universe 05. but i triumphed with 0 mistakes... 2 perfect services on my sideboard part. hallelujah, all glory to Jesus.

and when i got home to pen my new song that i was inspired during the jamming session, i realised that one string on my guitar was broken after cg last week. in spite of that i carried on trying out guitar chords... and 5 min later the top bass string broke as well. the devil was trying to stop me from penning my new song... i heard urgings like...

'give up lah, you already have 2 out of 6 strings missing... how to pen the guitar chords? its impossible.... don't be silly.'

but i chose not to heed. i went ahead. and now i've another magnificent song under my belt. ask me to sing it for you and i'ld gladly do so if you would lend me a guitar to accompany me.

a verse in isaiah says that 'the young men shall dream dreams and the old men shall see visions.' today i've started to dream for God again and He placed a new vision for me to work towards. i love Jesus... thanks for spinning my life all around toward You again. allow my eyes to be fixed upon You always. amen, amen and amen. God's promises toward us are 'yes and amen'. i want to be serious with Jesus because i know that He will also be serious toward me.

Jesus, you are better than any boyfriend or any future spouse of mine. i love you with more than words can describe and pictures can portray... Lord i don't want anything else except You. grant me that desire of my heart oh Lord.

beams tiredly and clears her guitar on her bed at 2.19am

moblog

2005-04-27T01:21:00.000+08:00

ok... this is it. i'm gonna make my presence felt in moblog as well... cos its really interactive... and just within a day of fiddling around with it... i actually made contact with one of my ajc council junior! simply too awesome to be true. i look forward to finding other long lost friends on this platform as well... currently my friendster is under quite a lot of 'hi can i be your friend' spam... so i'm gonna clear all those after my exam proper. i hope moblog doesn give me this prob... haha.

from now onwards... blogspot will be a space for me to display my creative self... such as photos, videos perhaps and other stuff that i can't change that easily on moblog. but... yeah to keep reading abt my hilarious life and its happenings... check out this space in future...

www.moblog.com.sg/blog/Plethora

thanks for all your support so far... its fabulous to see the meter on my site hit the 3000 mark since november.

cheers.

hops off hopefully to study in the hot furnace at 1.30am

foreign land

2005-04-26T17:08:00.000+08:00

blogger land seems like foreign land to me nowadays because it has been such a long time since i have treaded on it. gone were the days it seems that it was torturous not to be able to blog my thoughts and happenings for just a day... losing the enthusiasm.

so now.... i might be making a shift to moblog instead because there's so much more stuff there to do rather than just blogging... its just the whole interaction community of bloggers. heh.

stay tuned for more.

mugster part 2

2005-04-21T06:21:00.000+08:00

mugster part 2

time: 6.22am.
location: some computer lab in Engineering Block 2 in aNUS

i cannot believe it. mugged overnight for 2 nights in a row and totally screwing up my own bioclock. but also in the meantime trying hard to cover material for papers on fri. feel odd hearing the deejay conclude and say gdnite... and to hear another deejay say gd morning and welcome to a fresh new day. i'm full of dread. don't let time pass so quickly. i've so much work and so little time.

did i mention that the night landscape in NUS is awesome? its so serene, but never eerie or spooky cos you will always find some stranger walking around. its a time when inhibitions are let loose, ppl are less guarded. i find ppl jogging at wee hours, couples standing together smiling at some hp, ppl taking walks around campus. beautiful urban sociology at work. will explain more when i have the time. i'm groggy.

before i finally end... eye for a guy 2 is hilarious haha. kudos to friend aaron who's mr nice guy and ranked 5th out of 10 guys.

and stop here with this set of lyrics which i find particularly meaningful...

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Oh, oh, oh
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken

this brings me back to a dialogue in 'city of angels' in which the angel asks meg ryan...

'how does a pear taste like?'
and she was puzzled... so she said sweet.
'but how does sweet taste like?'
'why do you ask that?'
'because i can never know how you taste sweetness.'

not sure whether that was the exact wording, but the main pt is that... we might all be tasting different kinds of 'sweetness'... just that it seems we are all branding it as the same flavour.

but we'll never know.
because we will never be able to taste sweetness in another different body.
back to the lyrics... feel the rain on your skin, cos no one else can feel it for you. speak the words on your lips, cos no one else can say it for you.

its hard to be me. because i'll never have the chance to be anyone else, except the real genuine me, unless i wanna be a right fakeo or sth. identity crisis. ok that's in a hypothetical absurd situation.

ogee dokie. great philosophy churned out at 6.33am. all the best to our new elected Pope Benedict XVI.

mugster part 1

2005-04-20T07:22:00.000+08:00

mugster part 1

yeah i can't believe i'm such a die-hard mugster. i mugged the whole day in central lib only to come back to my beloved NUS at 11pm to mug the whole night through. and i've been successful. i didn not fall asleep even once and i managed to cover some good ground for the next day's work. but its exhausting, tiring, mindless even! why go through such torture? cos i've 2 papers on fri... see i'm not even writing with the usual flair that i have with blogging. goes to show that even caffeine can't help in times of crisis like this.

its now 7.25am in the morning and its my first time looking at daybreak from the windows of YIH... and instead of feelin all inspirational and optimistic... i'm just dead sleepy. my eyes are blurry.

thanks to my part time bf clement ;) for accompanying me to study during the first half of the night... and other sweet good buds for accompanying me on msn to make sure that i was safe and sound alone studying in YIH... but of course there were loads of other overnight muggers ard. alone as in sitting alone without company haha. special mention to qizheng... miss you loads. come back from germany soon. :) remember the hugs that u promised me... and also that they accumulate interest ;)

ok... gotta go... buaiz. its nite nite for me on a not bad looking wed morning.

over and underestimation

2005-04-16T22:57:00.000+08:00

bloatedness, noseless, fluidless, feverish, headachie, raspy, dazed, clumsy, blunderous, tissue-hogger, tasteless buds, heavy headed, weak legs...

i'm officially ... sick. :'(

and while sneezing i banged squarely into the sharp corner of my table... sob sob.

the worst 4 letter word ever... 'sick'.

nitey and i hope the much needed rest will carry away my sickness...

throws away the mountain of tissue paper in front of her and trips over her books into bed at 11.26pm

my new blog template is up!

2005-04-16T02:55:00.000+08:00

hooorayyyyy~~~ yippee yay lalala dee dum~ ok i ran out of gibberish sounding words to express my glee at my new blog template. this new blog template is a tribute to the beautiful stars and the moon that we often fail to appreciate... even though night after night they never cease to shine and illuminate the night skies for us.

and also a tribute to the odd photos that i've taken around with my xphoneii. most of the miniphotos are taken by yours truly... except for the bench and the angel one. those credits go to billy haha.

great. now to bed. i'm exhausted.

and thanks to terence for that great movie out.... "guess who" was hilarious. the statement of the year shall henceforth be...

[conversation between gf's father and bf]
"do you love her?"
"but what about my dignity?"
"let me ask you again, do you love her?"
"yes... i do."
"then she's always right."

cheerios to the empowerment of women!!! we're always right. hmmmph. shame on you all those guys out there who think you can trample on women. please go and watch guess who. u'll be enlightened tremendously i can tell ya. :D

and oops... i've been eating as though i'm eating for 2... but terence said that it seems like i'm eating for 3. what does this tell ya?

exams are around the corner. and my appetite is out of control. not that i wanna keep it in reign anyway. i've the great liberty of a supremely high metabolism rate. hiak hiak. and shouldn i make full use of it then? ;)

why the @$%^%& am i blogging at this unearthly hour then with impending doom!??!

and awful bad news... i'm sick. have a raspy sore throat and my nose is running. someone please stop thinking of me... i can't stop sneezing. ;) yeah trust me to joke when i'm dehydrating myself like mad.

shuffles her notes, blows her nose for the umpteenth time and prepares for bed finally at 3.09am

mid term

2005-04-12T23:39:00.000+08:00

yeah... i've a 50% mid term for introduction to cybercrime tomorrow. all the stupid data encryption system, encryption and decryption keys, symmetric block cipher, secure socket layer, cross site scripting, end to end security, public key cryptosystem, RSA digital signature...

okok enough.

can foresee that i won't be blogging for the next few days... so in that case... i've posted long overdue photos to keep it 'seem lively'.

anyway cali gym's body combat class is still kick ass... and i finally met and got to talk to eugene who's a gym instructor there and used to be from ajc. no wonder he looks soooo familiar. and oh did i mention that i'm bad with pairing names with faces? i'm awful when i meet people whom i have met for once only some time ago... not to mention a schoolmate like eons of years ago... hee.

then i had not bad japanese food at clementi (wow i'm finally starting to discover my 'new' neighbourhood) with aaron and his friends hanson, celia, adrian and samuel... its funny how there's soooo much material and crap about this poor guy whose name i shall mercifully keep anoynmous for the time being. anyway this bunch of people are really humourous... they're the kind of people you wanna hang out at the kopitiam late at night, chill over teh, swap gossips and jokes and laugh your head off. and they always have supper at clementi! yay!

so i don't have to jog over to nus to meet billy for supper at fong seng haha. hey of course i'm kidding. and that absurd suggestion was made at 1+am at night... so of course i didn't even entertain that idea.

ogee dokie... wish me all the best for my cybercrime mid term. till then~

face buried in notes at 11:57pm

2005-04-12T23:38:00.000+08:00

eddie and me... trying hard to finish our readings. and we did make progress with our work alright?! haha. and when i said work i meant our readings... in case you were thinking along other lines ;) eddie's my great chill-out pal to bitch about everything under the sun... cheers ed! :)

2005-04-12T23:35:00.000+08:00

ambience at essential brew at holland v is just fabulous. love the concept of walking around bare-footed, sitting on cushions, low tables, soft lighting and soft music... ahhh~ with my glass of rose tea its chill-out heaven.

2005-04-12T23:33:00.000+08:00

ok this is a hideous shot... cos we both stuffed the oversized nougat into our mouths haha. and ok this is how i'll look like if i grow fat someday... *brrrr scary thought.

2005-04-12T23:31:00.000+08:00

me baiting with eddie with aussie chocs that he bought for me... hmmm... doesn sound right there.

2005-04-12T23:29:00.000+08:00

thats angela and me... girls night out after singing our lungs out at paradiz kbox.... they have atroucious service there... don't go there. serious, not kidding.

2005-04-12T23:27:00.000+08:00

me and isabell smiling in our black dresses and dark red scarves from the thierry mugler perfume launch at taka 2 weeks back...

finally!

2005-04-10T11:16:00.000+08:00

finally i can blog. i say that because i have been forcing myself to achieve certain targets in studying or accomplishing some tasks before i can help myself to the reward... yes of blogging. i feel so pent up without blogging, as though thoughts are being forced to the ends of my brain to make way for even more incoming ones. my whole brain can be said to be a scatterbrain now literally... full of scattered and random thoughts.

yes yes yes... how can i ever forget the most important issue at hand to blog about... the 'excursion' made to california gym last thursday with my honey angela :p it was just awesome you know. i was always one of the few wondering why people would wanna run on the treadmill facing the cineleisure complex and looking like huge oversized hamsters. now i do. its all an ego thing! they want passerbys to take notice of them working out... perspiring... and what are these passerbys doing? just wasting their time wondering aimlessly from shop to shop, shopping centre to shopping centre. all in all... its a good marketing tactic... it compels ppl to wanna come in and have a good look around to see what cali has to offer.

why i managed to get in with my honey was that she had a few 2 weeks gym offer and she could bring an unlimited number of friends to enjoy this offer....... yes and yours truly was asked to accompany her. muahahaha. anyway i was super duper shocked when they did the body analysis on me... and the results showed that i had to put on another 10 kg in order to hit my acceptable weight! 10 kg!!! my gosh, its a double digit. i don't believe it. and i need more protein in my diet... so these few days i've been a ravenous carnivore... eating chicken and fish like nobody's business. heh heh. oh and did i mention additional suppers too? sigh, sinful indeed.

working out was great... there were so many delightful machines to try and toy around with... and the highlight of the day came when i managed to drag a tired angela into body combat class with me heh heh. *i'm sure you enjoyed yourself tremendously too dear* it was kick ass awesome man. the jabs, punches, kicks, uppercuts... everything was just too cool to be true. the sense of adrenaline built up in me as i warmed up to the schedule of the combat class... and kept on jumping to keep the energy within me... especially the movement of decoy... loads of jumping on the spot to keep the momentum.

but towards the end i was spent. already i could feel signs of an exhausted body when i trudged into the ladies showering area... but more was to come! me and angela enjoyed ourselves in the sauna room (while midway i sneaked off to the steam room heh :p) and felt like some bbq meat being in a huge microwave... i walked out feeling lightheaded but refreshed. after that we went to subway and i've never felt hungrier... had a 6 feet cold cut trio which did not satisfy me to the max!!! dammit after the gym advice on acceptable weight, i think my little scatterbrain is psychologically hyped up to eat more.... oh condolences to the notes in my wallet... say bye bye.

great news is that i realised that marc is also a cali member and we're going on monday for ... combat!!! hoo-ha! and if i can take it... perhaps i'll go down on tue too... and now no prizes for guessing correctly what i'm gonna do... yea combat too with aaron.

the thing is that combat doesn't just burn calories... that day it gave me this boost of energy to do things... ironically even though i was tired but there was this thing in me pushing me onwards to do things. so it transformed me into an energizer bunny... seriously. and i wanna experience that all over again... ... ya hoo~

okok enough abt california gym. anymore and you would wanna join me too ain't it ;)

little snippets of last week...

friday night was exceptional... one night never seemed that packed full of fun before.
aussie chocolates from eddie are the best chocs i've tasted.
it's gross and disturbing to see a lizard eating flies in billy's room only for bills to kill it 5 min later.
studying in yih on a saturday night is stressful... it is actually packed with muggers!!
i study well in cold conditions... the colder it is, the better i study. but chuck away the mentality of kidnapping me and putting me into a freezer. cos no human can study like that k. :p

alrighto... going for church! tata~

waves and leaves at 11.44am

oh help

2005-04-03T23:57:00.000+08:00

no relief... no relief at all.

its the time of the year when deadlines never seemed larger and in-your-face.

now i understand why i suddenly lose my appetite or binge eat for no apparent reason at all.

retiring at 1.33am and having class at 8am and presentation at 10am the next day.

touching moment

2005-04-02T00:23:00.000+08:00

was supposed to meet eddie up for gym... but head suddenly got swarmed by heaviness and slight nausea. darn. so i took a loonnnggg nap from the afternoon all the way till 7pm. one word - shiok.

then i turned on the tv and one of the usual boring chinese documentaries came on screen. so i thought... darn its gonna be one boring friday evening. but nope... the documentary was one of the most touching programs that i've ever seen. it was on the story of this elderly couple - and how they relied on each other in old age. i've never got so moved for such a long time... really its the little things that count in a relationship... and the care and concern for each other's wellbeing despite their health and imperfections. husband has old-age amnesia, wife has high blood pressure, osteoporosis and is blind in both eyes. yes, so in every single mundane matters of life, the wife tells the husband how to do it... in simple things like preparing a meal. and yet the wife also cannot do without the husband holding her hand and guiding her to the market... man i nearly teared while watching the documentary.

well i juz realised that noel who is in Philadelphia has been doing break dancing! how cooolllll~ he says that he'll be coming back in july and he'll show me the moves that he has been practising :D how awesome... i can't wait to see.

and oh... i finally msged to persuade angela to start blogging as well!! angela is most certainly my closest girly bosom friend... cos we have this connection with each other that doesn't diminish with time even though we don't frequently meet up with one another. i love you angela!!! muackssss~ haha

was at siam supperclub last night. darn cool place. free entry for guys and gals + free drinks for gals on thu night. how cool can it get man. and philip, aaron's friend introduced me to a great way to drink beer. and i gotta clarify that beer is seriously one of the grossest liquids that human beings ingest on planet earth. acks. philip treated me to corona with 2 pieces of lime....... and the taste was awesome. he said it was a simple chemistry equation of neutralisation so that the beer doesn't taste so bitter anymore.

tonight i ran abt 5.8km as calculated at the streetdirectory.com jogging calculator. from clementi my place all the way to buona vista following the train tracks... and man it was dark and scary at night. i think i won't take this route again if i'm running slightly after 9m or sth. but the air was great. and the pond decorations trailing singapore poly was gorgeous. the sound of water was like melody to my ears when i was jogging past.

pheewww. i'm tired. but ready to start studying though. wish me all the best with a focus on academic pursuits. tata.

5 km a day keeps the doctor away. mission accomplished. :) out at 1.01am...

sense of heightened awakeness

2005-03-30T10:06:00.000+08:00

having a sense of heightened awakeness. i can't remember when was the last time i actually had so much caffeine running in my body. this feeling is peculiar cos i only had about 3 hours of sleep and suffering from an intense brainwork out the night before... resulting in extreme grogginess and gong-ness. i'm not kidding really. its been awake and sleepy at the same time... i would liken it to the usual 'torning' mood at chalets... 'torn' the whole night and yet awake to do vigorous activities the next day like cycling, rollerblading, swimming... dai dee~ :p

speaking of which i haven't gone for a chalet for a long time. hmmm.

anyway this post is to encourage a few of my closest friends in my life... cos they have been people sowing time and effort into my life and i hope that they will feel better if they do read my blog... and make a silent prayer for them.

the first darling to be mentioned is...... my closest sister in Christ - sarah!! :D she is possibly the most patient friend that i've ever known cos i've been bunking in her rather small single room in TH for the WHOLE semester last sem and she didn't even grumble. i'm really fortunate to know her as a bosom friend throughout these few years in NUS and she has always been there through my ups and downs... sounds very drama ah~ but yeah its certainly true. but she's always plagued by friendship problems, and i sometimes wonder why she often gets into this rut by different friends around her when she's such a wonderful person to be with. people take her for granted, ignore her, or in her words... 'treat her like a doormat' (hey i quoted darling :p) and i simply don't understand why. hey dearie... sometimes ppl ard us can be insensitive and hurt us but God is our present help in times of need. i'm sure through these 'trials and tribulations' have caused you to grow much stronger and closer to God and i'm thankful that you are still the same zany gal despite all these nonsense. keep thinking happy thoughts dear. happy tots, happy tots.

hmmm, someone said that to me before. who is it? my memory fails me again. perhaps i shd think harder when there's less caffeine raging in me.

next is my dear friend in germany... qizheng! hee hee somehow there's this affinity between the both of us. he was my junior in hall and we used to have late night chats over msn in hall. yeah when i say late i really mean late... like 1-4am chats cos we were both doing work... or i was busy playing neopets or yahoo games haha. qizheng is one deep, thoughtful and caring christian guy and i would definitely recommend him to any gals looking out for a great man of God. in fact i'm proud that i led him to the sinner's prayer over msn! :D but dear qizheng was telling me this morning over msn that he nearly drowned in the swimming pool... ... it was a huge shocker man. friends who are ardent swimmers but not yet polished in their craft... ... please please be careful. swim near the wall to get support if necessary yah. hope your cramp is much better dude. take care yah, will be praying for your safety that God will look after you in germany. :)

next on the billboard of good friends... bills! haha. never in his dreams would he have expected me to mention him in a whole paragraph in my blog. this guy is on the prowl for eligible ladies so women of the world watch out! haha~ kidding dear. wanna encourage him as he has also signed a modelling contract and is gonna start on his assignments pretty soon as well. jia you as you embark on another phase of your life... and probably meet the woman of your dreams somewhere soon haha. in the meantime seek God and His kingdom... you won't go wrong putting God in the centre of your life. trust me :p

and... next is to welcome eddie back into the lion city!!! *throws multi coloured confetti and ignites some fireworks* this dear friend of mine went back to aussie for leisure for about a week or so and is finally back. hey ed hope you're pumping with adrenaline to finish your e-commerce business yah? ;) anyway my exams are approaching soon and we can lounge at starbucks in holland V again to mug lol. this time i'll look out for the electric socket for the both of us... cos i might be bringing my laptop too :p i'm looking forward to the stuff that he got for me... mainly food lar. man i'm such a glutton. he said over msn that he got loads of good finger-licking rich and sinful aussie chocs and nougats for me...... oh mannnn~ my diet is a goner and my discipline is definitely going down the drain.

so then... this blog post has enabled my brain juices to start churning again for the completion of my cocoa essay. perhaps i should place a link on my blog to show off my intellectual capacity. haha yah right. most probably you'll die of laughter at my inept and incompetent writing capabilities.

yeah i'm spewing a lot of complex thesaurus-like vocabulary cos i like essays that are full of cheem cheem words. it somehow makes the whole essay seem more academic. haha.

ok... time flies. gotta go for class. tata.

~ walks off groggily at 12.27pm on a beautiful wednesday afternoon

essay and nearing of exams

2005-03-29T17:30:00.000+08:00

how cool! i love my new pic on the blog...

though without the words it seriously looks like some cigarette ad. ooops. of course that is not what i want. just for explaination purposes... the field of flowers are actually lilies... ah huh! yup dear qizheng also mentioned that it looks dark... but that's the effect that i want... i like things that are slightly darker, as though they are captured in your imagination but not as vivid as they are in real life... the contrast is lost slightly... the brightness is lost slightly... and yes the word here is again nostalgia. stupid me. always a sucker for nostalgia.

anyway... i'm gonna go and finish up my chocolate essay. you'ld probably go like... huh haven't you been working at it for sometime already? you're not done YET? erm yah... haven't been very focused lately. but progress has been swift since yesterday's mugging in the library and i expect to get the 2nd draft out by midnight today... tomorrow will be spent on polishing it to achieve the desired thesis...

rain... is here again. rain is beautiful don't you think so? a lot of people snatch the opportunity to catch a few more winks of sleep... but i hope to be able to breathe in the cool mist... and enjoy the sensation of it falling on my skin. yes one day when it rains again i'm gonna go and take a slow walk. i hope it rains again soon.

yeah the next picture on my blog will be a tribute to rain haha. i have the inspiration already lol.

till then... life has been great these few days.

mae out at 5:57pm... gonna go jogging again hopefully a better spot in clementi.

clubbing and its aftermath

2005-03-27T20:01:00.000+08:00

clubbing and its aftermath...

man... clubbing is fun but i always hate my clothes and my hair being full of 2nd hand smoke... and the awful numbing hangover that comes around the next day. clubbing is fun if not for the awful aching legs cos i was dancing in heels for the entire night. someone asked me... then don't wear heels lor. but i just cannot imagine going clubbing without wearing heels... it just doesn't fit. its just odd. anyway wanna leave a note of thanks to jing for allowing me to bunk over at her place after clubbing.... i love you jing!!! thanks for everything.......

clubbing and its aftermath... surprises and new friends... and unexpected occurences. shan't elaborate more at this moment... :)

church easter service was awesome as usual... we had a great easter drama at singapore indoor stadium and i can still recall the moments in which i weeped in the darkness... weeped for the miracles Jesus performed that i didn't see... weeped for those who saw but did not believe, weeped for those who saw and yet betrayed... i was really touched by the drama. God is truly amazing and magnified in the drama.

anyway... juz to let you guys know... i've a 'new' name from last week onwards... and this is gonna be 'mae'. yeah vanessa mae is most probably gonna be the first link that you're gonna think of, but i chose this name cos its easy to pronounce and remember. so mae would be a name for the modelling side of my life... for the rest of you :) you can still call me meiyi or lily for that matter.

just finished a perfume launch at taka over the weekend with the brand 'thierry mugler', a top brand from france with its new range of angel - peony, violet and lily. welllll~ what i would say is that these 3 fragrances are really strong and my asian nose was slightly not so used to it :p i still prefer my lancome miracle. lol. jia you to the staff there... hope they have more sales even when me and isabell are gone! :p janice and spike were exceptionally friendly to us... and also to mention... all the best to spike and his gf :)

cos i was chatting to spike today and he mentioned how much he would wanna be a bachelor so that he can club and check out all the nightclubs... he's only 22, the same age as me and bell. but then of course he loves his gf and would wanna stay with her... but he also mentions that she's possessive and doesn't like him to go clubbing, especially without her. seems like he misses clubbing bigtime man. haha.

hearing such words from a person makes me feel really happy to be single heh heh. single and unavailable. :)

i'm incredibly tired. going off to do my essay on cocoa beans and some other ponderance. ;)

smirks on the easter sunday at 8.20pm

dan brown

2005-03-23T01:54:00.000+08:00

oh i cannot believe it. i spent a good whole 4 hours totally absorbed in dan brown's angels and demons. from a christian point of view, the whole novel was simply blasphemous. but everyone enjoys an unexpected betrayal and twists towards the end... even at the expense of the clergy of the Catholic Church. and the usual cliches roll in... in which the male and female lead end up making out in the end.

but that 4 hours was pure magic. i felt chills within me as i was engulfed in the whole exciting plot of characters even on the roaring prowling SBS bus home... and i really shivered when i alighted at my bus stop and i saw the freaky movie poster of the Eye........ help i really have no guts man. just to let you in on a little secret...

i actually screamed when i watched monsters inc.

... ok ok you can stop chuckling.

but that 4 hours meant that all my studying efforts have been pushed back yet again. and tomorrow is my heavy 2-9pm timetable - which means no gym, swimming or time for recreation that i badly need... i wanna exercise and push out all the energy within me. have been eating too much. and glurg, my good friend eddie who's in aussie now said that he's bringing back loads of chocolates back for me... he asks me to keep fit cos he's gonna fatten me up when he comes back with the chocolates... haha.

anyway speaking of chocolates, i'm going to do a sociological review on the topic of chocolates again. i analysed the role of chocolates in the Africa region and transiting onto the shelves of virtually every supermarket while doing the module sociology of food. this time round, it will be a deeper analysis of cocoa beans in the ivory coast being a commodity cash crop and why it has failed to bring about substantive economic take off for the ivory coast despite its profit margins. man~ i can't wait to start i'm excited.

somehow i've this undying love and passion for sociology...... i dunno why it excites me so much. but i'm glad for this passion and i do hope that i have to chance to share this passion with other students... in fact now i cherish the hope that i can further in the field of sociology and become a full fledged academic. bring it on baby~ i really don't mind being a sociology tutor in NUS. besides i stay so near to school :p

alrighto~ i've gotta go and catch up on my chocolate readings~ till then cheerios and take care :)

and to mention that i saw sarah and david on my way out of school... and boy they look incredibly sweet together. and oh HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID!!! :D:D:D david was accompanying sarah to her lecture... why?

cos her textbook was heavy... ... ... awwwwwww~ so he took her text for her... he seemed almost blissful and in heaven strolling through the alleys of arts faculty holding her hand and holding her textbook with his other arm.

sarah and david... i wish you guys all the best in pursuing excellence for God and to cherish each other always :D

smiles sweetly at the thought of a happy sarah and david together at 2.34am

me again

2005-03-22T00:34:00.000+08:00

just now when i was showering... i started pondering how lucky i am. i'm thankful for hot water when i bathe, dinner on the table when i'm done, wonderful eyesight to look around my beautiful home, a good healthy body to function well... fresh air from wind blowing straight into my kitchen. man its a wonder to be alive.

you know it feels great to count your little blessings from time to time.

like awesome friends that i have around me... encouraging me and always there for me. these are friends who are never tired of giving... giving their care, attention, time and effort to sow into my life. yeah... i'm talking about the group of ex-cg brothers that gave me the beautiful bouquet of lilies as seen in the photo just posted. they are sooooo sweet!!! my gosh, and they said things like, you'll always be the beauty queen in our eyes... you look so much prettier in real person than on tv... etc. with edifying friends like these... i'm really glad that i'm in a church with great family members man.

last friday i did what i usually did before the pageant... i woke up a time that i was comfortable at... (cos i don't have classes on fri) studied a bit, nibbled on some light lunch while watching tv, then chatted on the phone with bryan aka yiteng aka one and only net friend whom i met up almost 8 years ago and are still friends today (haha that's a long name man) and guess wat? we decided on the spur of the moment to go swimming in half an hour's time in clementi. and that was what we did.

and it was quite some time since the both of us have been out... and his great company really makes me realise how nice some guys can ACTUALLY be!!! like mannnn~ he didn't just offer to pay for everything but he just-did-it. he got a curry puff for me right after he waited for me to finish showering... he made sure that there was tissue on the table... and he even went the extra mile of pulling out the tissue from the packet so that it would be easier to get it... and he's such an insightful and thoughtful guy....... man~ i think that i'm really really fortunate to know him as an acquaintance. and any girl who catches this guy is one super duper lucky gal i tell you... haha. go brian go!! :p

then today i went back to hall for tea and of course for a great game of tarrot. it's NOT the satanic pack of cards but its played slightly similar to that of bridge and i find that its really fun and intellectual. i'm glad to have nicole around cos i spent a great deal of time having 'girl bonding' and also studying in her room after tea...

then we celebrated kok tiong's bdae!!! HAPPY BDAE KOK TIONG!!! :D *throws confetti* and as usual they held the hall bdae stripping tradition... and i was glad to go off to catch my last bus 96 home.

but yah something happened. and at this point in time... i'm angry, hurt and sad. i'm full of disbelief that trust between 2 great pals can be broken because of one single petty incident. yes TRUST... that can be broken so easily. if that's the case... is it that the friendship was already fragile? i really don't know there are so many hypotheses... but i'm hurt that that person actually made such a statement. that trust has been broken. simple as that.

but i know i'm an immensely optimistic person... going back to the beginning of the statement... i'ld rather count my little blessings in life.

sometimes i think lily is really suitable for me as a name after all (my modelling agency wanted me to get another name cos they felt that it sounded really 'weak') cos of the analogy of the 'lilies of the valley' Why did God plant lilies in the valley? cos lilies symbolise hope, that when one is at his/her lowest or in the valley... they can remember God's goodness by looking at the lilies in front of them when other sorts of vegetation is sparse. i thank God for making me a person full of optimism and hope. thank God for that great outlook in life.

thank God for giving me so much. but its not the blessings... but the Blesser whom i will follow faithfully all the days of my life.

Lord You are my shepherd, guide me according to Your desired path for me. :)

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. Psalms 23:1

enjoys the peace of God and home-cooked dinner at 1:07am

2005-03-22T00:26:00.000+08:00

the lilies that i received from a bunch of thoughtful, caring, sweet and totally manhood brothers in church... thanks kun, des, lum, bob and ben :) it really made my week

its all over

2005-03-17T11:37:00.000+08:00

tonight's the night that i'm both exhilarated and depressed at the same time... and feeling almost giddy from having the both extreme feelings together circling within me. depressed because it has all ended... this whole saga with the miss singapore universe pageant. yes i'm out of the pageant finals but i would say that i have been mentally prepared for it. seriously i have given a lot of thought to how my life will turn out if i do get in... and it really isn't a good feeling. like i know that i'm going to miss an awful load of classes and probably gonna flunk my semester which will then affect the class of honours that i'm going to achieve. you know now that i'm not in the competition i'm all geared up for another dean's list for this semester and i'm going to make sure that i hit it yet again. moreover, i will be missing so much of church and cell group that i will really hate this hectic schedule gripping me and perhaps even end up hating myself for making the wrong decision.

i'm really glad to have entered this competition because i made a really good friend from it all... jing mok. she's one sassy, eloquent, with personality lady that can never fail to catch one's attention with her great conversational skills. she also looks darn hot in photos man... killer. she actually brought me over to her old modelling agency and... i've already signed the contract! i'm going to start my own portfolio this saturday and to print my comm cards to send out for assignments. advertising films watch out! :D

that is why i'm feeling exhilarated. i'm stepping away from something really big but its not the end. in fact, the pageant is a stepping stone for something greater. it has built my confidence in front of the camera and in my public speaking skills as well. so instead of being an end... it is the start to another phase of my life that i can't wait to start!

i also cannot wait to start studying... i feel that i've neglected one big love of my life... sociology and i'm gonna go back to it with full force!

i also can't wait to get back to chorus board and start serving again! :) i miss serving and the adrenaline rush whenever we have to do things impromptu.

but aside it all... if you wanna ask me regarding my real feelings...

yes i am greatly disappointed even though i was prepared mentally for it. but like what my hairstylist peter wisely said (he's another great pal made from MSU), it is probably worst if i get into the finals then get eliminated at the top 10 when all these are aired live on national television and the whole world sees the reaction that goes on... man that feeling is definitely gonna be much much more worse cos of all the extra effort that went into the preparation for the finals. i really had a lot of fun such as the trip to bangkok to experience the luxurious kirimaya resort... experiencing the times in which there were 2 makeup artists and 2 hairstylists doing their stuff on me all at the same time hoping to beautify me further... all the fun i had trying out the different types of food that they offered... man i love their food. the great times i had with jing and arwyn, going to the gym, cracking silly jokes, bunking over in jung's room... the filming, the photographs taken, the crazy fast buggy rides, the fanatic running around in bikinis, getting our heels stuck in the wooden platform near the swimming pool... all those wonderful memories because i was in the semi-finals :) i'm really really glad.

so through it all... i'm glad to have gathered my courage to go for it cos it has opened my eyes to so many things that i have never done before. not only that, it has probably opened another avenue in my life to explore...

last night i was so unsettled... but thank God for jing and shihan who were there to accompany me and had supper with me at maxwell. guess what... we were also being 'scouted' over at maxwell with that guy reportedly saying that he's the advertising company for 25 hours looking for a spokesperson and models for the advertisements. hahaha... so interesting ain't it. and then on my way home alone... i got picked up. man what's wrong!?!? hahaha... it is certainly odd when you find a stranger's footsteps in total rhythm with yours for 5 minutes straight... its a tell-tale sign that he's trying something funny :p nice guy though... stays near my place too.

darn i shd have gone clubbing with shihan :p

till then~ its back to mugging and rushing my anthropology assignment due today. :)

its an end but its certainly not the end.

poignant smile at 11:47am with post-MSU results...

its been a long time...

2005-03-15T23:47:00.000+08:00

hey dudes... to those who have been faithfully checking up my blog for the latest updates and happenings of lily liang meiyi's life... i'm sorry for not updating my blog for such a long time. well, it isn't really that i'm busy... but that i think i've lost the 'thing' or desire to keep on blogging. ah well, it will still be my primary vehicle for thought-sharing and the recording of poigant moments... but besides that i don't think i'll really be referring to this blog much...

hmmm updates... today is the last day of sms voting and i wondered how i fared in it. i mean with overwhelming response from church friends, and their friends, my hall friends, and many many other friends... ... ... it is really amazing how an event can allow me to get together with so many friends all over again. cos now there's a common topic to chat over, rather than asking each other... hey wassup with your life and boring conversation starters.

i'm gonna start modelling pretty soon. i just signed the contract yesterday and i know that this next year of my life is gonna be just smashing... if only with proper planning and execution. indeed there are so many things that i wanna do but i gotta make sure that i can juggle my studies, church, family and friends altogether. i also gotta make sure that i have time to rest and chill.... man i miss stoning and just chilling out listening to the radio, reading a nice book or just going through my readings slowly... that's really life's pleasure man.

anyway, when i went down to the modelling agency yesterday, they told me to get a modelling name that's nice... not like my really 'obiang' name lily... so today i saw elizabeth and jenny and just asked them... i mean some people might have the knack of coming up with really good names... u never know your friends' hidden talents. and liz came out with a nice one that i really life... tania. tania liang. hmmmm sounds very good hor. i think so too lol. i tink its due to a little symmetry between the alphabets of i, a and n that is present in both words... hahaha. yeah i'm going a little out of course.

tired lar. hit the gym in the late evening and i'm as tired as can be now... if only there's sth rendering services for a massage now........ that would be simply awesome.

ok gotta go. press conference to announce the results is on the thu... but the results will be make known to us on wed night itself after the judging. man i hope i perform well for the catwalk and interview segment..... hope everything goes well. but in my own prayer closet i'm confused whether to pray to get in or not... seriously. if i do get in... this semester is seriously as good as gone cos i won't have time to study and on top of that i would have to miss classes. in fact if i get into the finals i would have to miss cell grp this week already. but i mean... who doesn't want to advance further into the competition? i wanna excel in everything i do...

oh Lord help. help me so that no matter what happens i know that You will direct my steps and guide me along the path that You have chosen for me.

~hobbles away at 12.05am due to strongly fatigued legs...

its been a while

2005-03-10T01:06:00.000+08:00

its been a long while since i've blogged. recently been popping over to isabell's blog to check out her cute posts and observations... horror of horrors and she's posting my photos on her blog as well! ah well... she's my unofficial manager for this entire miss singapore universe thingy and i'm extremely glad for people like her who are even more enthusiastic about MSU than me! when she's free... she'll waylaid lecturers to tell them about me and to get them to sms vote for me... or else she will be in the comp lab trying to design flyers for me... man where can you find faithful loyal friends like her? gr8!

anyway it seems like i'm losing my interest in blogging. perhaps its because i've been consumed with many tasks in my life that robs me of the relaxing time i need to pen my thoughts and ramblings... such as tutorial assignments, a mid term exam today... help.

and its odd how i see myself appearing on national tv. you know... its freaky. cos you know that that person that you're watching is you yourself... and not really. its the superficial media side of you... that one-dimensional side of you that is delievered into the tv screens of singaporeans. yet its with heavy make-up, hair done up, nice bikinis... great landscape... that whole 'packaged' you that seems to be no longer you anymore.

who am i...? i'm someone who yearns for freedom... and to do everything in life in the best excellent way i know how... while retaining the lily that i know. i am... a silly girl that takes notices of the little mundane things of life... the glimmer of the water under the sunshine, the shades of the sky when its sunset, how green the grass looks at my new place, the number of steps i take to climb up to my arts lecture rooms... its the little details that feed into the required complexity that i demand. i like life simple, but there must be a tinge of complexity within it... just like the minimalist design. simply wonderful. the minimalist design is really an outward expression of my personality... simple yet complicated with a touch of sophistication.

anyway my biodata is out on the net. go check it out if you're free.
http://ch5.mediacorptv.com/msu2005/bio19_2.htm

thanks for reading another type-as-i-think blog entry. its really nothing much but scattered ramblings here and there.

wish u a blessed peaceful night of rest... at 1.20am

2005-03-06T01:21:00.000+08:00

angela and me again... with a magnetic love message that i scribbled just for her!! haha. hey we were just having fun.

2005-03-06T01:17:00.000+08:00

me and angela with this puzzle that almost cracked our skulls trying it..... but we managed to take the ring out of the puzzle in the end!! :D

2005-03-06T01:14:00.000+08:00

one of the greatest bosom friends i have on earth.... angela! :D she's introducing me to subway and i had my first subway meal ever... what? are you calling me slow?!? :@ anyway triple trio totally rocks with honey mustard sauce and loads of olives!!! :D ooops. my diet.

2005-03-06T00:52:00.000+08:00

alila kirimaya resort is just awesome... this is a whole pan of washing water at the side of the swimming pool...

2005-03-06T00:39:00.000+08:00

one of the nicer shots i took in bangkok :) i love the dress!!!

truly amazing

2005-03-02T01:32:00.000+08:00

truly amazing.

God is so good that i can no longer have any doubt whatsoever that He doesn't exist. Somehow blessings do not trickle but pour in altogether and I am reminded that the God that I serve is the King of kings and Lord of Lords and own cattle over a thousand hills. I serve an infinite God, yet He is willing to listen to my ramblings, my whispers, my late night worship songs to Him. He is ever willing to draw close to me as I run towards Him.

My gosh. I don't think I ever loved anyone that deeply. Yes, I'm only 22, but this is one of the most intense and extreme feelings I've felt ever. Let me tell you what happened.

the Bangkok trip was awesome and I could feel God's favour over me constantly. In fact the main stylist was from the same church as I am. Although she did not practise favouritism (yes she had to be professional and I totally agree with that) but I could feel that sense of warmth when she smiles at me when my hair or make-up is done... its the Holy Spirit guiding and helping me go along even as I'm a greenhorn in posing for the camera. Its the Holy Spirit that gives me the strength that I need to go on smiling and smiling... and I'm really so grateful for all the care and attention that the makeup artists and hairstylists shower on me. cos i'm a real problematic gal when it comes to makeup....... sigh. so i spend almost half an hr more on makeup than other gals and I always feel like I have wasted the time of my group members who have to wait for me to do the group profile.

After that i came home exhausted. But God renewed my strength and vigour and I was able to attend church on Sun when i touched down in SG at midnight on Fri. and another blessing dropped straight at me, a perfect aim from God Almighty again.

I've succeeded in another resolution for this year. I got into deans' list. for those who don't understand... it is the top 5% of the whole faculty... and yes that doesn entail the cohort only. my accurate estimates are that there are about 5800 students... and i was that lucky 240 to be able to get this prestigious certificate of deans' list. I have ALWAYS wanted to get into deans' list... but it seemed so faraway... IMPOSSIBLE even. but through this God reminded me...

With God, all things are possible. amen.

and when I could not have hoped for more (believe me i'm really easily contented) ... i remember what pastor kong often preached about... receiving cheques in the mail that was a huge blessing to the family. guess what.

i received a diamond in the mail. it was a belated bdae present from a dear jc classmate. it was a diamond pendant.

i'm utterly shocked.

Jesus, is this the open heaven that is described in the bible? or is it that i'm only receiving the crumbs from the table still? Lord, let me know Your ways. I'm delighted at the blessings but I'm speechless at the generosity and ingenious ways of the Blesser. Father, thank you. thank you that I'm so blessed I still am stunned.

before i end... would like to let everyone know that i'm officially MSU 19... so if you wanna sms... remember to sms to MSU 19 !!! :)

lines will be opened this sat after the prelude show that starts on sat 9pm on channel 5.

nite darlings.

smiling

2005-02-18T01:24:00.000+08:00

smiling is really an art i realised. today i was in front of a video camera and the normal digital camera trying to flash my pearlie whites. smiling for the normal get-together occasions are already kinda difficult when you count the number of times someone shouted... "i blinked!" this time... i had wind in my face, light and people trying to bring out the best of me... like tilt your head to this side, stand like this... pose like this... man its really really not easy. i admire the models who make posing look so easy in magazines. especially the sexy poses... MAN~ helpppp i'm like the epitome of all UNsexiness........... the gals all agreed i'll do well for a health supplement ad showing off my slightly toned arms... but sexy... nah~ off. nopey. poor lily.

back to smiling. i smiled so much that my cheeks actually twitched. can you believe that? what a workout for my cheek muscles. my mouth got dry and cramped up too. help.

looks like i've got a LOT to learn... loads and loads to learn.

anyway i feel that most of the gals there are really lucky... cos either their bfs come down to fetch them home... or they have the luxury of taking a cab home... i'm like one of the few ones who have to walk out to the main road to take a bus home. yes... so unglam right. in full makeup... hairdo... and heels... i've to walk out of andrew road opposite macritchie and wait for the 165 bus to come by. and the passing 74 bus driver winked at me and keep on closing and opening the bus doors. its not that i'm not flattered by the attention...... but help. its so super unglam. and also i'm one of the rare ones who are single! hahaha~ proud to be single :D

my toes are hurting from all the heels... and i only hope that my acne is not aggravated by the thick make up that i put on for the photoshoot earlier...

and i missed cell grp today. :'( sobby. going for make up cg tomorrow though. but still nothing beats going to your own cg meeting...

you know i was just thinking... if i hang out too long with this bunch of pretty ladies... my lesbian tendency might just emerge.... lol. kidding.

hey i was just kidding ok. don't take me seriously :p but everyone really looks so gorgeous in their make up... hair done up... and wonderful clothing and physique. you know... just getting this group of people as friends is really one thing that i have gotten out of this whole MSU (miss singapore universe) thingy.

ogee dokie... i'm off. need my beauty sleep. help. and i wonder how i've become so vain.

was it in ecclesiaties... 'vanity of all vanities?' haha.

yes i'm drifting off. brain is dead. yet i'm still very excited about the whole photoshoot. and i wanna complain that my appetite has hit rock bottom. i've never remembered eating so little before. i take only about 1 proper meal a day... the rest are just... snacks? i had a carrot and a banana for dinner today. lunch was one chicken pie pastry and one cup of bubble tea. breakfast was one pau. Ewwwww~ this means that ... i didn't even take starch like rice, noodles or bread.

what's happening to you lily?

someone take care of me please. my body is going nuts.

~ drifts off murmuring to herself at 1:53am...

2005-02-16T09:56:00.000+08:00

my 'glass slippers' i finally bought it and loving every step i take in this... its soooo beautiful.

2005-02-16T09:54:00.000+08:00

the bouquet of flowers i received... 6 red roses. how nice :)

2005-02-16T09:53:00.000+08:00

the sinful brownie with macademia nut ice cream.... helpppp~

so much rubbish sigh

2005-02-16T09:26:00.000+08:00

there's so much rubbish to do.

term paper outline, tutorial preparations, assignments due in 2 and 3 weeks time, .... help.

anyway its fascinating how new people just turn up in your life. yesterday i was alone at home and was going to start doing my schoolwork and the door bell rang. somehow the notion of 'don't open the door to strangers' didn't occur to me... it just didn't. i opened the door and realised it was someone trying to do a survey... which was fine by me as long as he wasn't trying to sell anything to me cos i have tried doing surveys before and the response from so many people were atroucious... they wave you away or crop up excuses like they're not free or sth. so i told him i'll gladly do his survey.

he came to my place abt 8pm..... and left at 9.30pm hahahaha. in case you were wondering... what is this survey man? takes so long one??? nah, the survey only lasted 20 min... for the rest of the time we were just chatting about each other's lives and it was only towards the end that i asked for his name... Eddie. hmmm, very nice guy. just came back from australia so he has a very healthy australian accent. i could almost see myself adding another good guy friend to my list of buddies to chill out with. i mean... if you just met someone and you can go on chatting on the doorstep for the next one and a half hour... and didn't want to stop chatting~ haha i guess we can be real good buddies man.

we exchanged hp numbers... and said we could go to the gym to work out together or chill out at the nearby holland v... all fine by me. you know friends in life are so crucial, because they offer support, guidance and encouragment when you most need it. i'll gladly add more friends in my life if they are such wonderful people.

the best part of this is that... haha i got paid a cool 10 bucks for doing the survey. heh heh. how cool is that man?

alrighto... gotta go and start packing...
pack what?
oh i'm going to bangkok next tue for filming ;) really really xcited man... please pray for good health, wisdom and the favour of man over my life... cos i'm really entering into a new phase of my life and i want to enter confidently holding the hand of my Lord. also its mid-semester break for one week.... yoo hoo~ not that i'll be able to enjoy much of it since i'm in bangkok... but all my other NUS friends will be able to take that brief recluse from the hectic NUS academic calendar

oh i didn't write about valentines' day? erm... went out with a close friend... caught constantine (help he forced me into watching it and my eyes were perpetually hidden by my fingers... but keanu reeves is cute heh heh) received flowers! :D and then had to go back to mediacorp for briefing in the evening... then watched a bit of grammy awards and was so tired i almost fell asleep on the couch watching tv. it was alright.... what about yours? :)

~whisks away wondering what to pack for bangkok at 9.40am (waking at soooo EARLY to do my school work. how hardworking indeed)

what is love really?

2005-02-11T13:43:00.000+08:00

what is love really? i just read a close friend's anguished blog entry on his love life... and that question paraded itself in front of me.

what really is love?

he mentioned that one should love unconditionally, but that is so hard to accomplish... isn't it so true that so many of us want to love and yet desire that same thing for our own, so that we know that item is ours and ours alone... that there's not shared ownership that only I myself can stamp my identity stamp on it alone...

it is kinda scary how warped one can get when we are so focused on getting that one thing that we want... especially in the realm of relationships. i've fought hard and perhaps lost terribly in the realm of love. well, perhaps fighting a little too hard that i no longer know myself anymore. it is really in this time of my singlehood vow toward God that all these things become transparent to me. i really wonder how stubborn i was in pursuing something that i could cause bodily hurt to myself... what a terribly wrong way of releasing stress. not only that... i become someone extremely possessive and demanding... now perhaps i truly realise the severity of my actions... that someone who is lovable can suddenly be seen to be so insane, so contorted in her mind and actions.

being on a singlehood vow is really the most wise decision that i have ever ever made. it made me see what kind of a person i become when i enter into a relationship and learn how to dispel the insecure me whenever the symptomatic insanity starts to surface.

but now... i wanna say sorry to those that i've loved so hard that i've hurt them deeply. how ironic life can be sometimes that if i hadn't loved... then i wouldn't have hurt others and been hurt myself. if you're reading this and still ignoring me... i'm sorry. if you're reading this and disappointed in me... i'm sorry.

there's just that one person on my mind... that no matter how hard i try... i just cannot forget. i still care a lot... -hell a lot man- for that person. but i'm scared. i don't wanna draw close because that insane devil in me starts surfacing... i don't wanna draw close because i know he doesn't want to... i don wanna draw close because i know i'm on my singlehood vow and at this point of time... i wanna serve God and He is my all.

but at times when my guard is down...
when my mind starts to drift off...
when i'm sitting in the bus alone watching the traffic and trees go by...
when i'm waiting for the traffic light to turn green...
when i'm waiting in the lift...
i. think. of. him.

is this unconditional love? i pray for him everyday... but i don't desire him to be my bf. i just hope that he's healthy and fine going about his everyday activities... i don't need anything to come out of all these mental torture... i'm happy as long as i see that he's happy. really.

i guess i better don't write as though i'm so noble. to a certain extent... it would be wonderful to have someone to accompany me for meals... movies... supper... but i'm blessed with so many care and concern from Jesus, friends and family that i really don't need any additional companionship. Thank God for everything really.

till then~ lily signs off feeling nostalgic at 2:19pm

happy chinese new year!

2005-02-09T16:40:00.000+08:00

this post shall be short, simple and sweet...

don't let go of the chicken (opportunity) when the time is ripe! Pursue your heart's desire in accordance to God's will for this year... :)

have a happy happy chinese new year :D

~ gets ready to go shopping at mustafa in the evening at 4:44pm :D

so many things so little money

2005-02-07T22:46:00.000+08:00

its only today did i realise... gosh i love shopping. especially with bell! :D haha... she's a great shopping buddy and a darn good one at that... she's super duper considerate and i love the funny shout over changing cubicle interactions that we have while transforming ourselves into little princesses... 'eh too tight!' 'eh too short!' 'eh too loose!' hahaha~ i had such a great time shopping all over bugis. no wonder bugis is my favourite haunt... it has soooooo many shops selling nice clothes!!! its amazing walking from shop to shop and you realise that every shop has some unique... and an item that you wanna add to your wardrobe! dangerous mannnn~

i finally topped up my survival kit... yes to survive the photo shoots and all the filmings that the pageant may pounce on me... i can say that i'm 75% ready... except for my 'cinderella glass shoes'... :S i found a pair at URS that is simply gorgeous and stunning~ $41 after 30% discount... but clare with her sharp eyes found so many little errors or scratches that she didn't want me to purchase the pair there... so that pair is in K-I-V mode... Keep In View. haha. but its really so nice, i think i'm gonna get it lar.

and now there's a break in the pageant schedule due to CNY (ahhh praise the Lord)... and my self-consciousness seems to have gone on a break as well~ sighz. let me explain. i've been eating non-stop since my reunion dinner on saturday... and even clare commented that i've a tummy... :'( i'm soooo sad... gonna really put my abs through some tough tough (and i really mean tough) training before i'm confident to go for photoshoots and all. that would be... 100 crunches and 100 leg raises a day and 1 hr on the hula hoop. heh heh. i'm in for a rough time man.

before i leave you thinking... let me end with this great CHC worship song that is soooo nice and playing in my head over and over again... God bless everyone :)

lost in You alone
that's where i wanna be
to hear Your voice
softly in my ear
You whisper words to me
that i am Yours

can't live a day without your presence
closer to You i wanna be

my soul cries out for more of You my Lord
my portion and hope
i close my eyes and feel You're near
there's nobody else that can take Your place in my heart

muacks to Jesus. :D happy happy CNY everyone...

~ walks away humming this beautiful melody at 11:32pm

fun!

2005-02-01T22:50:00.000+08:00

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

haha i got this from sarah's website. enchanting isn't it these silly quizzes. ah well~ try for entertainment's sake.

2005-02-01T22:20:00.000+08:00

the blinds that i did out of creativity and out of tight budget... its made up entirely of straws and fisherman string. the blue and yellow endings are actually stars folded from 2 straws joined together. its a cross bounded by the yellow stars if you can't see it properly :p

i cannot stand it anymore

2005-02-01T22:17:00.000+08:00

sigh.... i cannot stand it anymore. there's this BIG SECRET that is bursting out of me... and i'm dying everytime i restrain myself from blabbering it out... because i don't want people to think that i'm proud or boastful. but i'm really really excited and i just wanna let the whole world know...

that... ... ...

i've been shortlisted for miss singapore universe 2005.

**dead silence.

and erm... i'm not kidding. i don't lie you know. just that... i really don't know what is in store for me... just that its gonna be darn darn hectic for the next few months and i really hope that my studies won't be dragged down together with it. after all i still wanna qualify for honours and get my 2nd upper honours degree... i don wanna be a bimbotic with no brains!!! :p

WORLD PEACE. *peace sign on fingers* ;)

and the thing is that i really never expected to be shortlisted. that was why when i went for the audition last saturday, only a few close ones knew about it... this is really not that kind of news that you would want to blabber all around. i just received the good news yesterday evening... and i'm in the top 25. scary huh.

but things are gonna get scarier. seems like i hafta go to thailand for filming... and there's gonna be sms voting in the middle of may to narrow down the number of girls from 25 to 18... and there's going to be radio shows... publicity... ARGH a lot of stuff to do and work on~

so i pulled out of willy's and nicole's dance for rhazzmatazz in RH. i feel awfully sad... because it was really through some pleading that i managed to get myself in to dance... and now i actually have to pull out of it after going to practices for almost a full week. all that effort down the drain. sighz. what a huge waste of effort. and i really don't think i can commit to so much stuff... after all i'm still a full time student man.

you know its kinda funny how i mentioned this matter to God. i told Him... i don't wanna pray that i'll get in because i know that it will really be very hectic... and a lot of things will have to be prioritised in order to make way for a demanding schedule. i also don't wanna pray that i won't get in because i hope to be able to accomplish something and challenge myself to do things that i have never tried before. so i just told God... i'll pray about this matter by bringing it up to you... whatever it is... the decision lies in Your hands God. if i get in... i'll be happy. if i don't get in... i'll be happy too.

but God knew... i really wanted to get in.

and now the demanding schedule is really staring in my face. already i have to skip one lecture tomorrow to be able to go for the briefing at 7.15pm at mediacorp reception. sighz. compromises man... compromises.

but never on God. i pray that my relationship with God will not be compromised, but rather i'll shine for Him like a city on a hill and a lamp on a table that cannot be hidden. i pray that i'll be so different from the rest of the contestants because i'm God's handmaiden. :)

whatever the consequences may be... its all in God's hands. i don't wanna expect anything because whatever i do accomplish will be sweeter and unexpected. being shortlisted is already a huge achievement~

AHHHH I LOVE YOU JESUS!!! :D:D:D:D:D

beams as she sweeps away her new blinds to walk off her study corner at 10:37pm

oh yah so that means i gotta sleep early too. sighz. all these beauty stuff to be concerned with. what a hassle~ :(

where do i start?

2005-01-31T01:05:00.000+08:00

my gosh so many things have happened since the last time i had the time to sit down and type everything out... it seems like everything around me has been revolving so fast and so many things are happening all at the same time! alright... let me try to recap and run my memory train once more in order to prevent these beautiful memories from fading away into the twilight zone...

sat i went for the jam X finals which is actually an inter-tertiary band competition... and my hall band was actually one of the 8 bands that made it in and the only NUS band at that. we were all so proud! afterall raffles hall is not really a hall with many many top accomplishments sad to say... but i really do love the people and how cosy the whole hall is... albeit the poor facilities and run down rooms that we have in comparison to other halls. but i mean... i'm no longer in hall! so all these don't really matter that much to me now haha.

quite a good turnout came from hall... ranging from seniors in hall who had graduated from NUS, people like me who are no longer staying in hall and the rest who are still rafflesians. as we waited patiently for band after band to finish performing... mind you some bands were really a torture to spend time waiting... yes the singers had good voices, yes i'm sure the band are good at their various techniques of the drum and the guitar... but it all seemed like noise to me. seriously. it was that bad. that bad until i switched off and wondered how come these bands were actually in the finals. were the overall standards really that bad? i don't know... i didn't go for the prelims. but of course there were a few bands that were good and stole our attention. from the 6th band in waiting... they were switched to the last band... cos evan broke his guitar strings~ haha we were all kinda impatient at that time... but oh well what could we do man! we were there to support them. and anyway in the end we would still have to wait till the results are out at the end right?

finally they were up and they sand their original composition first. fwah. they totally blew the audience away cos riadi's rapping skills were top class and different from all the other bands. and then suddenly... yahwee started singing as the back up that sounded eeriely like evanescence's amy lee... haha i tell you the guys at the front were all worshipping her ;) after that magnificent original song... they then performed counting crows' accidentally in love. and of course it was awesome too cos they had so many practice with each other that the solo segments were great! what also set our band apart from others were our 'secret weapon'... the violin! eric was also great on the violin man...... it was beautiful watching them perform. its like magic.

all of us held our breaths as the emcee verden from 98.7 released the results....... and our band... called turning point emerged as the winner...... amazing performance. they walked away with great prizes and also a recording contract! simply amazing.

after that... ... ... i went off to bugis to meet terence and then to great world city to watch a midnight movie... mind you it has been such a long time since my last movie... and i really cannot remember when was the last time i actually watched a midnight movie. i watched "finding neverland" and it was really a tribute to the fairy tale 'peter pan' with kate winslet as a widow with 4 adorable boys with their unique personalities. there are just so many phrases that johnny depp acted out soooo well... and this boy called peter who had such big watery eyes that made my heart cry out of compassion for him and i couldn't help but let my tears flow for him...

phrases like...

~ 'its just a dog? (depp was asking them to imagine that he was dancing with a bear) that's such a cruel statement. its like saying that a diamond is just a rock, a boy is just a boy, a dream is just a dream...'
~ 'fortunately i have can afford a fortune.'
~ 'some things can come true... if only you believe'.

in fact if i were to sum up the whole movie in one statement i would say that it is... 'everything is possible, if only you believe.'

anyway terence fell asleep so many times during the movie! lol~ poor guy. and i thought i was the tired one trotting around in orchard in heels for the whole day... ;)

sunday... today. went to church and feeling really happy cos i brought 3 friends... bills, sarah and bryan. praise the Lord. today pst kong also preached mightily well as well... remember to pray for pst sun and pst kong for wisdom and guidance!

and after svc i rushed off back to hall to do dance..... fwah now i'm like really shagged~ really really so tired. 2 full hours of dancing hip hop doing willy's dance... and then another 2 full hours after dinner dancing salsa in nicole's dance... i guess i better lay off other exercise for the next 2 weeks man.

ogee dokie... really gotta go and complete my room decorations. yes you read it right... complete my room decorations cos lily is a cheapskate singaporean and she doesn't want to spend on unnecessary decorations that really cost a bomb like in ikea... and places like barang barang... ... i'ld rather D-I-Y man.

all in all... praise God for creativity and an amazing weekend.

smiles and ends typing at 12:37am...

what is life?

2005-01-27T01:09:00.000+08:00

what is life?

life is a journey, a process. something that never stops, never old but is ever changing and is full of surprises.
life is different everyday. we have a plethora of everyday experiences. even if they are the same, we have different individual perceptions captured in memory.
life is never always sad, happy, sunshine or gloom.
it is like putting your hand in a lucky dip... you never know what you're gonna get.
the booby prize or the 1st price?

you know... i really cannot imagine life without God.

if my life on earth is but a one cm on a one metre ruler with God... i want to make sure that i have the greatest faith for everything that comes my way. because life is seemingly so short as compared to eternity with God.

yesterday night i realised something new about myself. that is... my creative juices flow like a waterfall when its late at night. i start seeing something in a whole new perspective. i pray better, start penning new worship songs, and think of solutions to problems that i face.

and i realised that i work very well within constrains. the tighter the boundaries, the greater creativity i can unleash within me to work out that ideal and perfect solution for the problem. this reminds me the miracle of Jesus who multiplied food from 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes. there were 2 of such feedings miracles. although in one miracle Jesus started off with less, he produced far more than when he had more food to start with.

Jesus, i may not have a lot. but whatever i have is Yours.

let my life be a sweet aroma unto Your throne in heaven.

this weekend is gonna be busy busy busy. gonna go and get the tan that i've been itching for, cg on friday... and audition on sat, church on sun...

wait a minute you say. what audition?

let you know more next week ;)

~winks coyly as she slowly retreats into the background at1:09am...

2005-01-25T01:46:00.000+08:00

finally shifted to my new premises at clementi. as a matter of fact there is not much difference actually. in terms of orientation, getting my things and stuff in order, and getting used to where i place my various categories of things. but i love this new home... as i leave my old ang mo kio home i leave a lot of sad and heavy laden emotives behind as well. it is a new and fresh beginning for me.

as i wander at the void deck of my housing estate... so many memories just sprung out of my head as though there was a live television set before my very eyes broadcasting it to me. i sat alone on the cold harsh metallic benches, dazed.

it is incredible how nostalgic i can get. i'm such an emotional creature its hard to believe that i actually survived all the tsunami like emotional upheavals in my life. i couldn't stop snapping photo after photo of my surroundings, the dim playground next to my block, the sitting area with the benches, the lifts, the stairs, the corridors with all the goodbyes that i said to many friends who sent me home...

from my place, the window views that i used to stand and stare for hours, facing the main roads. as i stood and stared, i wonder what was at the back of the minds of these drivers that i were glancing as their cars weave seamlessly in light traffic in the cool of the night. were they rushing to get home to their loved ones? were they on their way out to have a good time of leisure? a midnight movie, a game of pool, lan gaming, or just to chill? were they out on working? i repeatedly thanked God for allowing me to rest, and giving me the chance to be able to just stand and stare. what a luxury of time.

the bedroom view of the carpark and the roundabout... memories of seeing friends walk back to their beloved cars, the shelter between the block... the childcare centre where parents would stand at the shelter and wait for their boisterous children... kids on their bicycles going around freely...

the kitchen view of the carpark and of the garden... such heavy memories that it would serve me better to just remember the happy ones... the ones that i ran at record neckbreaking speed and cooled off at the swing... the ones that i spent gazing at the stars with a precious one... the ones that i spent chatting on the seats scattered around the garden...

lily oh lily... you decipher and delve too much. memories are precious to me.

my new place is amazing. its only 10 min away from school because i have a straight bus 96 that people take from clementi interchange to get to sch.

and i actually missed an assignment deadline last thursday cos i was so caught up with this whole shifting thingy. silly lily. but really thank God for his grace and favour of the lecturer on me. he was so kind when i spoke to him as he smiled and reminded me not to forget the next deadline. haha.

but yah lily is revolving around a hazy emotional state of mind. everything in the atmosphere is slow, smooth and seeps around freely like the effect of dry ice with a slow revolving fan behind it...

so i'm really not in the mood to capture the shifting of house on sunday... or other technicalities or details...

just in the mood to drift away...

in the mood to lean on someone's shoulder and spend the whole night in silence watching the stars and listening to the waves at the beach... and knowing that the person means well and no harm at all...
in the mood to see the clouds drift pass the moon...
in the moon to count stars and debate gently over stellar constellations...
in the mood to see old romance movies like pretty woman, serenedipity...
in the mood to sleep in the Lord's embrace... knowing that He loves me so much that i am the apple of His eye...
in the mood to love Jesus more and more... knowing that His plan is slowly unfolding for me.

breathe... because love is in the air.

and love is also in me. cos Jesus lives in me.

drifts off gently to unpack her books at 1:41am

why this feeling?

2005-01-18T01:20:00.000+08:00

life seems a little bland these days... if a blog is like an empty glass container waiting to capture all my thoughts and recollections... i would say that this container has been sparse for the past few days.

its not that i haven't been thinking, but rather i've been so consumed with little events happening in my life right now, such as moving house, buying and ordering of furniture, start of school, attending lectures, looking for empty seats in canteens... it is really frightening how little things like that can bother you and occupy all your time. this reminds me of the 'filling up of the bottle' illustration used by time/prioritizing consultants... firstly, fill up the empty bottle with huge rocks, then smaller rocks, then pebbles, then sand... then water. these little things really seem like adding sand... or even water into the bottle of my life. i feel drained mentally. which really shouldn't be the case.

i feel empty... hollow. something that should be there isn't... or perhaps its someone.

i don't know.

i don't feel the usual satisfaction when i complete tasks, or do things. i used to be contented with the little things of life, the green lights that come my way, nice taxi uncles who give me discounts, someone opening the door for me or a nice word from someone (today someone remarked i look like a supermodel... lol) ... but now... no. these things just pass me by while i get irritated easily... with the red lights, with the jam-packed 96 buses to school, with lecturers who prepare insufficient handouts for us, when i just missed my bus...

why? why is it that i used to see the glass as half full as half empty now... ?

i don't like it this way... feel awful. don't like the perspective that i'm using now. its like a huge yearning for something good to come my way... and when it finally comes i brush it away... or reduce it to insignificance.

when have i stopped counting my blessings?

this weekend i'll be shifting over to clementi already. and i hope that when my house is in order... i will be in order with myself and God.

this is an awful stage of life... hate hate hate to be pessimistic.

oh well... we can't have sunny days always isn't it.

anyway... today billy played super duper well in handball today... he scored a cool 10 goals for our team and the game ended score at 21-2 (can you imagine one player scoring half of the goals for the team? :p) i would say with confidence that he will be the top scorer in the whole inter hall games handball league if there's one. ;) way to go dude~ the rest of the team were also good... but we faced king edward vii, which is the 'worst' (kinda sad, but yup this is reality) handball team amongst the rest of the halls. so, this is just target practice and stretching of the muscles i suppose. if they really wanna perform, RH would have to do more than that to score, strategize and win.

after that i returned back to clem home to paint my room... and sigh its still not done yet. some of the trimmings still need another coat of paint to smoothen out the texture. i guess that's the case when you try to save on money and do things yourself...

and... haha i had a most wonderful night at terence's office playing cube tower defense with him, his bro and his friend charlene. it was really funny and challenging man... haven't played warcraft for such a long time already... in fact i actually felt the adrenaline rush while playing it! haha. i look forward to more lan gaming sessions at his office man~ :)

alright i better go and catch some sleep. i think why i'm so grouchy these few days is also that i haven't been sleeping well... in fact i can even remember many instances in which i woke up, tossed and turned around when i was sleeping at night...

-grumpily drags her feet back to her room at 1.46am-

argh painting~

2005-01-16T01:29:00.000+08:00

on the saturday morning of 15th jan... i woke up feeling exhilarated. i'm going to choose the paint colour for my new room and to start painting proper today! well well well... you're looking at a 'virgin painter' heh heh. it was my first time participating full scale in a painting project and i was really looking forward to it because i'll be painting my own room... so of course i've to do the best job possible.

after so many deliberations, i've finally decided (with the help of my mum & bros) to paint my room dark blue and light blue. initally it was yellow and dark red (but mum nagged SOOO much i nearly gave up the proposal cos she said that dark red would make my room look like a temple lol~) but i read many design books that said that warm colours tend to jump out and attract attention, thus making the room look small... which was what i didn't want for both colours to! so there were many permutations... yellow + dark blue, red + blue, blue + pink, blue + purple... and then argh! just take blue!!! so it was decided... dark blue and light blue it shall be.

so happily me and my mum went out heading for our new place at clementi... only to waste about 45 min of our time when we tried to save on some money to take the free shuttle bus to turf city. sighz don't wanna talk much about it (cos its really quite malu-ating) ... just that i saw how tired she was, so i carried all the stuff... (one big bag of clothings, water, food, paintbrush, roller,... + another big bag containing my radio - how can one paint without music man? heh heh some foresight on my part) 3 words to sum it up... darn heavy can?!?! but i had to smile and keep on reassuring her that it wasn't really THAT heavy or else she would not have allowed me to carry the stuff all by myself. anyway the reason that i gave her was...

"ahhh, that's why i go gym right?" heh heh. she was persuaded.

then after reaching our place... we had to wait for the grand arrival of my bros... once they reached we all set off in my second brother's new and frikkin' cool black toyota viros... first hand and brand new one okaiiiii?? don't pway pway. seriously... after sitting in his car... it really makes me wanna go and get my driving license. his car is really darn chio. argh. help. the speedometer is in the center and where usually there are stuff in front of the driver... his is entirely empty... which is really sleek and cool man. let's see when i'm free to go get my license... sighz. wait long long man~

thennnn~ we made one whole big round of blunders. cos we didn't know where we could get paint in clementi... ekor decided to go to IMM. i mean since it is a place for furniture and interior designing... surely it should sell paint right? WRONG~~ it didn't. so we spent like... 30 min walking around... watching some mediacorp artistes talk and perform... nothing interesting.

left IMM and decided to go back to clementi central to look for that secluded and reclusive paintshop... ... only to realise that the whole of frikkin clementi central doesn't have a proper paint shop... HOW GROSS CAN THAT BE!?! we took another 45 min combing clementi central... yes. me, my bros and my mum. only to realise that (after ekor asked this shopkeeper)... there are 2 fully functional paintshops just one road and opposite our place at clementi avenue 2!!!

so we were back to square 1. (kwa kwa kwa~ it really felt like crows were flying past our heads...)

before we thought we could finally make our way to clementi ave 2... guess what? there is this stupid tofu storage truck that was parked right in front of my bro's car (see photo below for more graphic details) and it was empty!!! no one who looked remotely like its workers were around... ... all 4 of us had a grim smile on our faces...

ok 2 min later this sheepish man (who turned out to be the driver) walked out with a trolley and drove the truck backwards to allow ekor's car to drive out...

then finally we drove over to ave 2... you really cannot imagine my immense sense of relief and happiness when i pointed to the shop banner at the back...

"Look its the Jotun banner! (thats the brand that phua chu kang endorses fyi)"

chose the colours... paid... and was really looking forward to start painting when...

"eh? how come we're missing one tin of paint?" - i said aloud.
all 3 family members stopped in their tracks, turned and looked at me.
i went over... checked and counted. yah confirmed. we're missing one tin of paint.
only to realise that the lady serving us forgot to pass us another tin. ARGH~

how many blunders can there be in ONE DAY?!?

:D then i started painting... and man i'm really proud of myself cos i took 4/1/2 hours to complete about half of my room walls... i mean that's a pretty imcredible feat considering that its my virgin attempt righto? :D

the blue is sweet man. muahahaha. now for the details that is gonna make people convinced that blue can also be feminine... heh heh heh.

thanks for going through a blunderful and wonderful day of my life :) God bless.

smiling and smirking away with tired wrists after painting for a straight evening at 1:03am

2005-01-16T01:06:00.000+08:00

the half-done painting on the walls... my back is still not painted yet. and if you notice carefully... the sides of the walls and the top of the window frame are not painted yet ;)

2005-01-16T01:04:00.000+08:00

and after that shot... "hey might as well take a few more shots of that incredible cool car!" ;)

2005-01-16T00:55:00.000+08:00

the stupid empty tofu truck in front of my poor ekor's car...

2005-01-14T02:08:00.000+08:00

the positioning of my furniture in my room... and the wall decor that you see below this post is the wall that is empty right at the bottom. let me know if you have any brilliant suggestions! :D

2005-01-14T02:03:00.000+08:00

my wall decor... the black strips are shelves from ikea, white squares are mirrors with frosted borders from ikea and the black squares is a set of 3 posters of a beach house from... yes you guessed it. ikea. i'm an ikea buff man!

cleaning up new place...

2005-01-14T01:05:00.000+08:00

whoa~ cleaning is no kidding. i'm so sooo soooooo dead tired after cleaning up my room and my parents' room - which means sweeping and mopping the floor ... by hand! cos my mum didn't bring the mop over yet... so i had to wipe the floor tile by tile using a small piece of towel. man my legs really ached. i would dare say this is more beneficial than any gym training or 2.4 km run. haha. but i was so tired that i fell asleep lying on the floor. yes the bare, cold and uninviting hard floor that i slept for a whole 2 hours in the afternoon.

speaking of which it is really cool to go jogging without taking time for 2.4km. like last tue i had to drag myself to go down to gym (before it gets postponed to tomorrow... well of course tomorrow will always have another tomorrow) and i jogged a cool 8 laps around the track starting from the outwardmost track... and then going in one track after one lap. fwah the feeling is really darn good i tell you. a must try for all exercise buffs and enthusiats.

and i just found out something else that i'm a HUGE sucker for... ... minimalist design. my gosh... the buildings inspired by minimalist architects and interior designers are darn nice cannnnn?? okok you're probably going... so what? what's so nice about it? man~ minimalist is zen-like, ultra simple yet modern design that exludes class, sophistication and places the emphasis on lines, and basic colours like white and black. so... now i'm gonna try to experiment on my room proper which is really quite challanging cos i'm gonna shift a lot of my old room furniture over... which are all wood - brown... hopefully my taste of colour is good enough such that it doesn't clash... haha... let me go through more design books... my kor's architecture mags... then i'll put up a demo picture of my wall decor. heh heh.

life is getting so filled up these few days and i feel that when school starts it really takes up so much of my time. alright... that was pretty 'duh'ish because i'm a full-time student right? no... besides that i've other roles of my life to play as well... like i'm also a full-time daughter... a full-time sister... a full-time friend... and definitely a full-time christian :) i really hope i can prioritise my time properly man.

last wednesday... i went clubbing at zouk together with folks from hall like neeti, chi anh, imei, heshan, billy, kek seng, nicole, jackie, morris, durg, and someother people. haha i really missed the darn cold mist that they spray at intervals of songs. it was soooo cold i really caught a chill... couldn't stop sneezing a few times ... cos i was wearing my spaghetti top and my flare-up skirt... ah. i'll wear something more the next time haha. but this last time clubbing was really 'too much' people in the sense that groups of people kept on getting separated and that really got on my nerves. i mean can't we just find each other and dance together? however... once we united... we sort of separated thereafter. ah well... morale of the story is... go clubbing with 3 other people so that you can share cab back and the size is just comfortable to squeeze into the jam-sardine-like-packed zouk phuture that was playing cool hip hop and r&b. damn! but thankfully this time i really restrained myself to drink... i only had 2 shots! hahaha~ hooray~ so i was a bit high... but really not to the point of doing things that i didn't know what i was doing or puking. :)

but i really wanna say a big THANK YOU to kek seng for everything that he has done for me yesterday night... thanks buddy~ kek is really one awesome guy that every chick should look out for cos he is so darn sweet. haha, bet his sweetness can melt any cold heart... provided that his cold jokes don't freeze it up again. ;) kidding. you know this guy actually brought my slippers all the way to the room that i was bunking over at (imei my sista's room) from another block in the morning when he was going for breakfast? like... it isn't really on the way... but yah he actually did it so that i don't have to go over to his place and collect my slippers. and in the afternoon he also msged me to ask me how i was feeling... and whether i was having a hangover. haha nopez but such a buddy is really rare to find. cheers to our friendship man kek! ;) and i promise to save up money so that we can both go to hong kong together during the next hols for you to visit your... ... er-herm... ... ;) ;) ;)

and i saw sarah going to zouk too! yay~ :D looking pretty and chio in black heh.

at this moment of time aftering spilling all my happiness away... ... ... i want to COMPLAIN!!! these nus lecturers think that our dads own gold mines and our mums print dollar notes or something... in my sc3202 module modernization to globalization... there's a reading packet for $6.50 and 2 tectbooks in which one is $70 !!! crazy!!! nutcases~~~ i would rather spend my whole afternoon zapping away in the library and going against copyright regulations than spend so much money on that one academic text. it is really silly because there are LOADS of copyright regulations photostated in large print and pasted everywhere in the photocopying area... but they are really like paper tigers. people see them but they simply disregard, and carry on violating these regulations. haha. so much for nus students being conformists.

alrighto~ gotta go. will try to be more enthusiastic about blogging now... besides i'm also a full-time blogger as well! ;)

posted up on the script on the top right hand corner are 2 new songs that i have written during my quiet time while worshipping Jesus. if you manage to catch me with a guitar... remind me to sing it for you alright? :D i promise the glass won't break.

~hobbles away with fatigued legs after massive cleaning operation at 1:37am

served~

2005-01-09T01:02:00.000+08:00

served today in ministry in the saturday team... and really feeling a bit pressured cos of the 'team leader' treatment that everyone gave me... my goodness they even called me sister lily! argh... so old. don't want.

anyway. just wanna mention that the new radio station lush 99.5fm is darn cool. it plays chill out lounge music - my fave genre of music. it is really an amazing station. goodbye power 98!

and this habbohotel.com.sg thingy is really cute. go check it out if you're free. and darn my 56.6k modem took almost an hr to download shockwave player... pissed~

gotta go check my sleep man. dead tired.

-walks groggily back to her room at 2:10am

guess what?

2005-01-06T09:50:00.000+08:00

ok this is going to be an extraordinary short morning post...

erm... den why am i going to post this?

cos i saw william hung in person at ang mo kio jubilee!!! no kidding... was having dinner with mable at mos burger and we saw this chartered bus pullover at jubilee... and the american idol reject stepped out in his usual array of long sleeve white buttoned shirt and a black bowtie.

everyone at mos burger was extremely amused.

think he was there to publicize his latest movie... titled 'the mama's boy' if i'm not mistaken. lol. ah well... the next time you are so frikkin bored and rich to watch this kind of movie... look around u carefully... william hung might be sitting right next to ya ;)

and thanks mable for your bdae presents... :) love you! u'll always be one of my most cherished friends because i know you always care for me and make an effort to do so. yay we'll be able to take a common module next sem! hooraaaiiiii~ so i can see you everywk! that's awesome.

ok... going to meet my dear sharon for ktv at chinatown kbox... heh heh heh. i haven't sang for such a long time.....

*gurgle gurgle gag gag*

creating a path of destruction of shattered glass as she sings high-key and trails back to her room at 9:58am...

colour

2005-01-05T01:23:00.000+08:00

just kinda overwhelmed by the feeling that life is full of blurry uncertainties. nothing is certain... nothing can be said to be really yes or no. what is yes can be a resigned yes, an uncertain yes, an uninformed yes... so many different types of expression within one decision. so what is yes actually?

but what gladdens me is that Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever.
that means whatever He says will never change, or even waver.
that means that His yes is yes... no is no.
that means that His word will be the same despite of any circumstances.
that means that all His promises are true for me.
thank God i found Jesus.

anyway... wanna share something really funny that my friend marc told me over msn.
he said he went to look up what grads are getting in jobs nowadays...

Marc-Bombay Stallion says:
most of us getting like 1700-1900
Marc-Bombay Stallion says:
or 2K if better off
* M e i Y i * my nose came back! -any1 game 4 sci gem 'intro to cybercrime?'- says:
that's gross
* M e i Y i * my nose came back! -any1 game 4 sci gem 'intro to cybercrime?'- says:
thats really gross
Marc-Bombay Stallion says:
incidentally the seafood cook at holland v windmill gets 1900-2200
* M e i Y i * my nose came back! -any1 game 4 sci gem 'intro to cybercrime?'- says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Marc-Bombay Stallion says:
if i learn to cook hokkien mee i can earn more than a fresh grad

so sad for the realities of life. hokkien mee huh?

*pondering*

anyway... will post a diagram of my new room and its layout hahaha. been thinking so much about my new room that sometimes i feel that i go bonkers... cos i still cannot make up my mind on the colour of the paint! but everything is really exciting... somehow i feel that i'm entering into another phase of my life... moving at 21 years old and getting my first and own master bedroom. ahh... i love my folks for giving me the bigger room! :D

finally got my baby back... haha referring to my guitar. my gosh... miss my guitar so so soooo much!! or rather... i miss worshipping God with my guitar haha.

and its really a joy to be able to spend some time alone with myself. when i was on my way travelling from jason's place to kai's place to collect my guitar... i was on the north-bound mrt train... just enjoying the music frm my mp3 player... the calm and soothing nightscape before me, fiddling with my palmtop and my hp... seeing interesting figures on the train... like this guy who looked like a student who sat next to me and opened his toshiba laptop and started playing those action 1v1 arcade games. great graphics too! the wonders of technology.

alrighto... gotta go and figure out my new room again. more brain work. and oh i need volunteers to paint my new place hahaha. let me know if u're willing yah ;)

happily found her nose after a looonnnggg afternoon nap and a panadol flu pill and hops away at 1:08am

2005-01-05T00:51:00.000+08:00

my brownie bdae cake - celebration of kelvyn & my bdae by my chorus board ministry members at holland v NYDC!

so long

2005-01-04T01:53:00.000+08:00

its been some time since i last published something and of course the world doesn't stop revolving... in fact so many things have happened that it is really hard to start writing about everything from the start...

of course there is the tsunami tragedy... which serves to remind me how fortunate i am to be in singapore in which we are 'pampered' and sheltered from these natural disasters from our neighbouring countries. if not for indonesia... that's it man. half of singapore will probably be gone or something. my mum was so paranoid... she asked me not to go to a chalet at changi for fear of the waves sweeping in and carrying me away with it in the deep of the night...

and i've been fiddling with my xphone ii and every day just brings new surprises with it. it is really a smartphone and i wanna know how to use it to its maximum potential... now i'm trying to explore options of downloading an ereader so that i can try to dl a bible in it... wow amazing isn't it? a bible in a handphone. this is which technology brings man.

and currently there's all the buzz about moving house at home. just went out with my eldest bro to ikea to check out the tables and furniture. saw a few amazing and cool stuff they have... but everything gotta keep in view cos i don't know the exact diamensions of my new room. don't wanna make any mistakes mah. but its all going to be real exciting... i'm going to try to be as creative as i can be with my new room... with the priority of saving space for CG to be held over at my place!

but speaking of CG makes me feel so sad because the numbers are dwindling down... members are either busy with ministry, work, or other stuff... everyone's busy - that i have to agree. but to the point of missing out on service and CG continually? that is really a problem of priority i feel. oh well... i guess i'm not in their position so i can't speak on their behalf. but i can only change what i can influence... and that is to pray and fast for the CG. worse come to worse... might have to disband the CG... which i really hope will not happen.

sigh. CG makes me sad. but anyway we had a great time fellowshipping on sat after thanksgiving CG. went to bishan junction 8 to watch kungfu hustle and really sat down and talked while waiting for the movie to start.

all in all... started the year well. now its planning like what pst kong preached in the first sermon of the year. let's start and end the year well! hallelujah.

lills signs off at 2.06am... sniffing and chasing her nose sprinting laps away...

qizheng :)

2004-12-30T01:00:00.000+08:00

praise God for everything... i just led my friend qizheng into the sinner's prayer over msn. Hallelujah! who says the Internet cannot be used for godly purposes?

my gosh... i'm so full of the joy of the Lord... i cannot think straight. i had a thousand and one things to blog but now... hahahaha i cannot think of anything!!!

and i just got my dream phone as you can see from the image below... my x phone ii!!! got it at a discounted price of 729 instead of the market rate of 798!!!

and my dear korkor who is forever so skeptical about God and Christianity... i'll keep on fasting and praying for You... knowing that God has an awesome plan for You only when You believe and allow Him to work in Your life. i love you korkor :) thank God for You.

haha mushy~

but really very happy. one of the prayers that i always mention is for God to fill me with so much love that it will overflow to the people around me... like the oil from the widow's barrel that just would not stop flowing into jugs and flasks.

and the tsunami wave with the increasing death toll only reminds me that my Savior Jesus is coming back soon... and i've gotta do His work with more urgency than ever...

gotta pray more, fast more, read more Bible, love more... everything more.

and life is so weak... so unpredictable. that one day if something happens to me... some incident... or rather anything... when i get to heaven i can be proud to face Jesus knowing that i have done my best in His Will for me.

i love to love. ah~ Jesus is awesome.

Christians who are reading my blog... please carry on praying and fasting for Your unsaved family members and friends believing that God will hear our persistent prayers and intercessions and will soften the hearts of our family members.

which reminds me. my mum said that in my new place there will not be any more idols!!! there will only be my grandparents' tablets... my gosh. praise the Lord!!!

alrighto... gonna sleep. last day of work tomorrow... yahoo~

2004-12-25T19:26:00.000+08:00

my dream phone... with mp3 player, camera, video recording, able to read microsoft word document with pda capabilities... awesome smartphone! and its gonna be mine in a month's time!!! :D

AMAZING

2004-12-25T01:03:00.000+08:00

GOD IS AMAZING~~~~

i did soooo well for my exams this year! i scored an amazing A+, A, A- & B+ for 4 modules... pulling up my CAP to a grand high of 3.9/5 cos i scored 4.625 for this semester!!! it really seems like my 2nd upper honours is getting closer and closer to my reach. it is an amazing work of God... this past semester is my best semester so far. Hallelujah. indeed with God all things are possible...

can you imagine how much God can do if we just as faith as much as the size of a mustard seed?

God is just awesome...

MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone of you out there... may you celebrate this christmas with a loved one and share the happiness around!

i'll be celebrating mine with Jesus, my Beloved :D

need to sleep... spent about 13 hours in singapore indoor stadium serving for chorus board ministry today... really stoned man. facing the lyrics, laptops and highest stress level cos i'm the one doing the mains live - that means all the lyrics that we see and sermon notes are all flashed by me... so any mistakes are made by... me... haha STRESSSSSS~~~

and drama in church was fabulous... i haven't laughed so hard for such a looonnngggg time. everything was just hilarious but at point i wanted to cry for Jabez-this guy who acted really well as a stammering Samaritan boy who was bullied by his lady boss and almost everyone else...

the actors, singers, musicians and everyone else serving have amazing talents that God can develop to its fullest potential ... if we would let him.

aaahhhhh and i'm going to get a new phone too!!! xda II. praise the Lord. will post a photo of it. :D

alrighto nitey~

happily skips into her bed at 1:18am awaiting for Santa to drop by ;)

painnn~

2004-12-22T01:23:00.000+08:00

work... as usual. then was supposed to meet cell grp members in orchard cineleisure to go support our church choir carolling at the grass patch near orchard mrt station... guess what. when it was approaching 4pm... lily's eyes suddenly turned red and her vision went blur for no apparent reason... then on second thought she thought she knew why... she has been using her current pair of disposable monthly contact lenses for as long as she can remember... its time to throw it away and use a new pair!!!

it's really scary you know. to see your eye turn red before your very own other eye when you probably haven't touched, scratched or even twitched it at all. i was scared to my wits man. so i decided to go home to rest.

but after patrolling orchard in order to get a gift for gift exchange for xmas in my office... i suddenly missed my second bro and my sister-in-law really badly. i wonder why. perhaps it is the holidays that gets the irrationality out of me. so i decided to go over to their place - all the way at punggol, edgedale plains. and silly me made a huge blunder again. i alighted a good 5 bus stops earlier. and armed with my vespa bag and 3 packs of chicken rice in my hand... i decided to brisk walk over to their place........ and since the weather was so good... i went for a light jog in my nice top and jeans skirt. thank goodness that place is kinda deserted or else people would really think that i'm outta my mind to jog in such attire. instead of taking half an hr... i took one full hr to reach hahaha.

but it was good catching up time with my family... we sat down and watched some really entertaining beauty tip tv cable programme while munching on our chicken rice. we chatted lightheartedly and i really didn't regret making the effort to go down all the way to see them. ahhh sometimes irrationality brings unexpected results. my brother said... its such a surprise to hear that you wanna come over. so i said yes, it is a surprise and i don't want it to be that way. i don't want to pop over and say hi as an isolated incident...

i want to be able to spend time with them as much as i do with some of my closest friends because i know that my family really do matter. and its no point harping about it until i really start doing something. so i did. :) just do it.

but my night ended horribly. had to move some chairs over to my place from my bro cos this sun i have loads of church friends coming over for steamboat to celebrate xmas. and being preoccupied with some thought in my head... i didn't watch my step properly...

i could even replay it in slow-mo in my head...

with the heavy chairs in my hands... i tripped over the open drain... and fell on my arms and knees...
the loud sound of the falling chairs resonated amongst the void decks of the surrounding blocks...
the chairs scattered as they fell in front of me.

i hurriedly picked myself and the chairs up and walked off... noticing a "little redness" on my leg but i told myself not to focus on it... just keep on walking until i bathe then i will pay attention to it... what can i do? whine and cry? no right... i still have to carry the chairs home no matter what.

so i did. and it was until i bathed did i realise how bad the wound was. in fact i have never seen so much blood. there was so much until it flowed to my ankle. i was shocked and scared. i really thought that it was a minor abrasion. but i just placed the shower head over the wound... feeling the biting pain and scolding myself for being so careless... knowing that the pain is temporary but i have to clean the wound.

silly lily. now the pus won't stop. sigh. don't think i can wear jeans for the next few days. need to air the wound and change the bandages...

you know in retrospect... i'm really proud of myself.
the crybaby that i knew did not even shed a single tear when she fell.

we are all growing up and learning new things everyday.

praise be to my Lord Jesus.

~cleans her wound pus yet again for the umpteenth time and signs off at 1:23am

dying with laughter

2004-12-20T22:09:00.000+08:00

haha... no wonder television is considered as the main source of entertainment for all... it indeed is entertaining! i'm so glad... now at jason's place surfing the net, watching tv and chilling out. we are watching some banzai comedy on arts central. you know arts central is usually shunned by many people because they will go for channel 5, 8, i or u. you know, for the cheesy chinese drama serials like the 'happy fish' one. yah true it is nice, but it is that kind of shows in which one sits down and watch with little engagement... its really passive watching. and perhaps you would feel angst... cos of the timid little sister or some over-acted scene that has been done over and over again... we all know what is going to happen next.

but this arts central one... my gosh... i laughed so hard i nearly died. tears came to my eyes and i still cannot stop laughing with jason hahaha.

this banzai comedy show... has this one part in which there are 3 dancers. and the viewers are supposed to guess what commandment they are trying to represent... and then... when the time starts they will dance some queer dance... which is impossible to decipher. and guess what the emcee says... indeed God moves in mysterious ways! ahhhhh~

now it is this 'shake-hand man' how long can he shake the hand of this cute model... and the emcee goes... 'a)10sec b) 20sec c)30sec d)40sec e)50sec and more ... place your bets!'
163 secs!! - you have made shaking history!!!

my gosh how silly or rather... how 'creative' can these people get!?! the senarios are soooo funny i really enjoy their type of silly humour. hahaha.

which reminds me... there's 'whose line is it anyway?' later!!! YAY!

and i love my mummy! hahaha... know that this sounds adrupt but i really love her... she's so funny, wonderful and loving all at the same time. finally i had some time to sit down and talk to her over dinnertime yesterday night... and when she started cracking jokes my gosh... i laughed till i teared as well ... my mummy is hilarious man. and so far the friends who have met my mum all say that she has a very good sense of humour. yah lah... like my mum always say that i look prettier in the past... argh~ but i know how to take it with a healthy dosage of salt... heh.

speaking of people i adore... here's another... okok you guessed Jesus? haha Yes i adore Him the most but i realise i have been speaking soooo much of Him heh heh its time to speak of someother people too!

this is the current guy i wanna marry... ... ... John Mayer!!! alright... you'll go eeeeek so ugly... but sigh i just wanna fall spellbound to his serenade, amazing voice and god-like guitar skills... he is soooooo stunningly awesome!!! John... marry me!!! :D

here are the lyrics of the song that i'm currently sooo in love with... move over maroon 5 and keane... its John Mayer clinching the top seat!!!

John Mayer - Daughters
I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
She's just like a maze where all of the walls are continually changed
And I've done all I can
To stand on the steps with my heart in my hand
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe It's got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from
A womans good, good heart
On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too

yes it is a bit adversive to my feminist feelings because the song supports patriarchy... but never mind... i'll just be irrational and forget that for the time being...

ARGH~ the hols are gonna end soon ... xmas is around the corner... new year's coming... my housewarming party is coming!

ohhhh so many things to look forward to. can't wait to move to clementi soon. my new flat... my new huge room... ahhhh~ praise God.

alrighto... going to sip some more chinese tea that Jay brewed and chill out watching tv with him... tata and enjoy your day! :D

sunday morning rain is falling...

2004-12-19T22:16:00.000+08:00

if it never ends, then where do we start? - maroon 5 'sweetest goodbye'

now that sentence to me was a nugget of wisdom. on my way home i had a revelation from the Holy Spirit... while listening to that phrase i felt the next sentence...

'that is why God has to take something out of your hands before He can put something else into it.'

that really hit me for a while. i had to stop walking to make sure that i actually felt that from the Lord. you know its really amazing how i've had these encounters with the Holy Spirit for the past one week... its really a close and intimate walk with God that i never want to compromise or lose. like there was this one incident in which the mrt that i was in was awfully packed. so i was leaning on the opposite door that is usually not opened except on the braddell side. so the station braddell arrived and then i took a few steps away from the door. after the warning signals were passed, the door closed like its usual self as it has been for the many stations ahead, so i went back to my former leaning position. but, i felt this urging, this impression that the door is going to open again, and it was definitely not from myself cos i felt the urgency to get away from the door. if it were my usual self talking i would have been really skeptic and ignored it. but it didnt feel like my self... so i obeyed this voice and i took a few steps away.

guess what. the door really opened again. if i didn't obey i might have fell. God is amazing.

anyway yesterday i attended monica's wedding dinner at yio chu kang grassroots club and she was just astonishing........ she was soooo pretty!!! my gosh. indeed a woman looks her best when its her wedding day. and there was a hooha over my ex-cg members cos kunming came over to my place to drive me down to the dinner... so they were joking and jesting... asking us to take photos together, proposing a toast to the both of us... asking us when will it be our turn... hahaha these brothers were the ones that i grew up in church with and they are really a bunch of jolly good fellows. they came from the same class of st. andrews and they have been that playful ever since i first knew them. in fact they were still so playful at the dinner time that they played the number game and the loser had to stomach this concoction of chilli sauce, vinegar, margarine and whatever these guys could lay their hands on... urgh. gross~

just volunteered to serve for xmas service this coming week and praise God it would be a wealth of experience because it would be at singapore indoor stadium. wow. i'll be controlling the mains and that is an awful load of responsibility to shoulder. thank God for the leaders' trust in me haha.

weekends are ending -> sunday is ending in 2 hours time -> monday is approaching -> work work and work again. but praise God i love working... its just the drudgery of spending 9 hours in this constrained place without freedom to do the stuff that i want... alamak. one cannot have the best of both worlds i guess.

perhaps when i graduate. then i will look for a job i love. like doing research for makansutra... heh heh. God is good. He is my Jehovah Jireh and He will provide.

and oh i dunno how to change the font color of the flooble box... so pls kindly type ur text somewhere and then paste it into the box... so sorry! :p

alrighto... signing off. muacks~

oh yes

2004-12-18T02:15:00.000+08:00

PTL... the new template is finally out... my gosh i spent my whole week on doing the template again and again... again and again... you really won't understand how tedious the whole process was because come the next evening when i'm free to sit down and do my blog template... i'll be dissatisfied with what i did the earlier evening. that includes the colour, the graphics... the layout... everything basically! my gosh... this template is really loadsa hard brain work. and everything is really from scratch. but praise the Lord it is really a huge sense of accomplishment.

black, white and silver. you know, since a very long time ago when i first started doing my rudimentary and cheesy looking websites about 8-9 years back... i started off with greyscale colour modules. its so simple yet so beautiful, elegant and posh. there is this chic simplicity in that i'm madly in love with. no messiness, no clashing of colours. and yes... there's this tinge of nostalgia that i simply am hooked on... ah the critics of nostalgia... condemn me you may but i'm still one huge fan of nostalgia....

wow... just checked my website... my last blog entry was... *eyes popping* monday!?!

tue - went straight home after work. supposed to go out with youko but could not contact her in the evening... so i happily went home to do graphics for my blog. you know hor, i actually created 3 different sets for graphics for 3 different layouts of blog templates... but they were ALL rejected until i was satisfied with this current one that you are seeing...

wed - had an awesome bible study. my gosh... it is amazing to see and feel someone preach so so soooo well~ bro yock kiang if i'm not wrong, he was there to preach on behalf of pst. audrey. it felt as though my spiritual and soul had gone through a spiritual bath complete with essences and bath salts... everything!! felt so refreshed after the whole session on healing. amen. then me and kai had our usual fare of tau huey. and saw all the gorgeous cars parking at this sleazy looking building [cos of the huge sleazy slimming posters displayed loudly on it]... you know i might not be a huge fan of nice cars but there were seriously some cool looking ones that are worth more than a second glance man. kai was rattling off the various model names of these cars... i was just blur as i listened. but yeah i wouldn't mind owning one of those. kwel~

but i was very forgetful that night cos i forgot to call up some of the cg members for cell group on thursday night. ben my cg leader got angry with me. and its saddening cos it wasn't the 1st time that i forgot to call up members... you know, i was so depressed and in despair... that i could not lift up my heart to practise praise for cg the next day. i just could not. and while i was playing my guitar for the sake of practising... the Holy Spirit was chastening and discipling me...

"how can i trust you with more important matters if you cannot be faithful in the little things?"

that night i learnt accountability in a new light - straight from the Holy Spirit. Hallelujah.

thu - brought my guitar to office and joked with a few of the cg members that they might see
"freak deaths in mrts this morning due to suffocation and smothering to death by a acoustic guitar" - yes me. come on... i go to work at the peak hours of the day... the mrt door closes 2cm right in front of my face... i really really mustered all the faith i have to carry my guitar to work man. this day is also seetoh - my boss' birthday. and they decided to go to singapura seafood restaurant to try the cold crab, red wine chicken... and all the sumptous delicacies...

which hallelujah i declined to attend cos i had something better -> cell group meeting :p

this cg meeting i was taking cg works of praise and offering... but in the end... only offering was really taken in cg cos ben wanted to change the format. praise God. i felt confident in sharing. cos the whole of wed night and thu afternoon i was sharing the same word over and over again to myself... it was really hilarious man. cos i was running some errands for office and as i walked i mumbled to myself out loud and people were looking at me as i passed them by haha.

after cg i decided to join my colleagues to celebrate seetoh's bdae... at paradiz KBOX! yoo hooooo~ we sang till 3am man. so you really can imagine how it was in office today ... everyone was yawning their heads off and/or were trying to seek some solace in good food hahaha. but back to the ktv... i've something to share...

pat and seetoh are our bosses in makansutra... and you really cannot imagine how loving a couple can be. seetoh drives a vespa and its just beautiful to see them on the bike together... ahhhh like those teens drama serial that we see on tv lol. seetoh is a very humourous guy and he often cracks jokes abt pat as well... but in those jokes you can sense his protection and love in it... that he made the joke about her to make her laugh rather than create a spectacle out of her. so during the ktv session they were singing the oldies... and when seetoh sang... he looked at her adoringly and held her hand. wow at that moment of time i was so touched and i really admired the way they express their affections for each other.

after that somehow i got to sing "eyes on me" by faye wong... and it was the first time seetoh and pat were hearing this song... at the part of...

i kind of liked it your way
how you shyly placed your eyes on me
did you ever know that i had mine on you

hand in hand... arm interlocked... they looked at each other and smiled.

the rest of my colleagues didn't notice but i did. and at that moment of time i told God that one day if i were to marry someone... he must have this special and genunine affection and bond with me.

it doesn't matter where we are.
it doesn't matter who is around.
it doesn't matter how noisy or silent it is.
it doesn't matter what special or normal day it is.
just that one smile is enough - i adore you.

and now i'm just blissfully more and more in love with Jesus everyday. seriously not regretting my singlehood vow at all. if a vow can cause me to love Him so much and live with so much joy and love in my heart... i might consider extending my vow~

because everyday is so beautiful walking with him.

you know now when i walk on the streets alone... i smile to myself. because Jesus is closer to me and my love grows for Him by the second.

so this whole blog is devoted and dedicated to Him.

enjoy my new blog :) God bless. thanks for going through another long lor-so entry of mine.

hope you have found the same source of happiness as me - Jesus Christ.

meeting up with shaun

2004-12-13T12:26:00.000+08:00

ello everybody again~

sigh kena the monday blues when i started work this morning. everything was just so boring! but praise the Lord i had something exciting to wake up to... and that is my new hairdo! heh heh heh~ i went for a haircut and now i've short fringe, layered endings and red hair. the sad thing is that it was supposed to be purple but somehow the auntie went to add too much of the red dye and now it turned out reddish brown instead. haha whatever as long as i look good :p

yesterday was bro jairus' holy matrimony at chijmes and i was honoured to be there and checking out some of the familiar faces around church who were there as well. congrats to bro jairus!! :D and this coming sat is my ex cg leader sis monica and bro william's holy matrimony and wedding! sighzzzz... my wallet is on fire man. ah well. there are some things in life which we cannot be stingy on :) another wedding to attend! haha i'm excited man.

this evening was a great time out with a nus friend and brother in Christ.... shaun tay! haha actually how we first met was pretty interesting cos my ex cg member yeo yee introduced the both of us and then we became friends! then we were in different services so we didn't really have the chance to develop the friendship further... until now cos we are both in nus so i guess there will be more occasions to see each other. what's more i'm serving chorus board on sunday too so i'll most likely bump into him even when he attends service 5. hey shaun thanks for the great time today... haha. i really enjoyed the time of fellowship that we had, sharing about pastor kong to his handphone to legal loopholes hiak hiak. shaun's a law student and serving as a cg leader in church :) powerful leh! shaun! thanks for fulfilling a wish i had since exams ended....... to go to the library to borrow books! :D

had sooooo many books that i wanted to read but realistically i knew that i had no time. so from 6 potential books i forced myself to cut down to 2... who areeeee~~

Adobe Photoshop 6.0 Classroom in a Book
- wow i've been using adobe photoshop for ages but it is the first time that i'm looking at the whole software from a theoretical perspective. really really cool and comprehensive manual of the precise workings of an amazing graphics creating software. look forward to awesome graphics soon! ... that is if i can afford the extra time after reading the whole darn book... so thick!!!

Stupid White Men and other sorry excuses for the state of the nation!
- oh kill me but i have to acknowledge that i'm a big fan of michael moore! he's such a witty and great writer that i cannot help but carry on reading his books and watch his films... yet bearing in mind a critical mindset and to know that he is a master at twisting his facts with fiction and presenting his evidence at a favourable position of his stand. oh well. he's a great storyteller.

that reminds me of my boss seetoh who is really a great storyteller. hmmm. think i mentioned that in my last blog entry.

and today was amazing in makansutra - food tasting!!! muahahaha and i was a part of it! braised chicken rice, curry rice, assam fish rice, mee siam, laksa, and a few more whose tastes are forgetable... haha. also seetoh is going to treat dinner at singapura restaurant this coming thursday... which immediately raised some alarm bells in my head... hmmmmm what do i have on thursday?

cell group. haha. so immediately i told them i had something on. sorry.

i will not compromise on cg... even though i know that i can go for make up cg. but i know that it is just different when i turn up for my own cg... and fellowship with my dear brothers and sisters in Christ.

but that doesn't mean that i don't feel sad about missing the treat......... SOB SOB!!! good food good bye~

but i know that when i put God first in my life, everything really becomes secondary and everyday i'm convicted to live a glorious life for Jesus. like what pastor kong preached, if our dream is from God then it will manifest Jesus. let our every word, thought and action manifest Jesus in our lives. it is one thing that say that we are a Christian but it takes work, effort and commitment to show to the world that you are one. this is perhaps the crux of antinomianism -> wanting the blessings and salvation of Christ but yet unwilling to abide to the lifestyle that the Bible asks us to adhere to. Christianity is not only a thought but its an act. so if your life is not glorifying to God and you know it, friend, i'm strongly urging you to repent. don't sin wilfully when you know that what you are doing now is wrong even though everyone around you seems to be doing it. know your identity in Christ that you are special, made different, like the lambs that will be separated from the goats when Jesus comes back. come back to Christ. hallelujah. Jesus loves you and so do i.

bills... wanna let you know that i didn't like the sound of that post. as a friend i'm asking you for a favour but i'm not begging you. doesn't matter if you cannot do it. just say so. i can always ask other people to get for me, you're not the only one coming back from overseas. thank you.

heya

2004-12-12T00:53:00.000+08:00

hello~

its so late now but i have decided to come online to blog what happened these few days for you! my faithful anonymous readers that have been causing my site meter to jump by quite a fair bit... thank you for visiting my blog again and again... i promise that i'll change the template really really soon! lol

anyway i'm back from a great steamboat dinner at nicke's place together with the rest of my makansutra colleagues with my bosses, seetoh and pat. and yes seetoh is the celebrity that we watch on tv hosting our own tv series "makansutra", so i was really honoured to be able to sit down with them and my colleagues for a great meal together. fwah... lily is sooooo dead because even the bosses now know of my huge appetite... her plan to shed the additional 7 kg from exam is gonneeeee~~~

while sampling the great spread from mushrooms to cabbage, prawns, sotong, 4 types of 'balls' ;) fishball, meatball, sotongball... hainanese chicken... there was something great to top it off... WHITE WINE~~~ hiak hiak. this is soooo bbbaaaaddddd cos i actually finished my glass of white wine that was just wonderful. and this is the first time that i didn't feel that burn on my cheeks - which means that my liquour tolerance has perhaps reached another level hahaha. the white wine tastes wonderful with seafood... gosh! the prawns and sotong tasted soo sooooo soooooo much better and distinct in taste! never mind... it was a sinful dinner...

what's worse... i had a more sinful dessert time~ :p

it was baileys with ben & jerry ice cream, baileys with milk!!! ARGH~ and i had about ... 3 helpings of each ... ...

awkward silence.

lily is such a glutton!!!

and i'm really excited cos i'm going to dye my hair tml with clare... toying with the idea of purple highlights, whole head of midnight blue or bright red endings... lets see what the hairdresser recommends... and then watch out!! lily's out to stop traffic :p

ogee dokie... my hair is almost drying~ gotta go to bed liao.

and bills if u're reading my blog pls help me to get a bottle of baileys from dfs PLEASE?!?! :D i'll be eternally grateful to you haha... baileys and milk tastes heavenly man~

and oh... to those who are still mulling over what to get for my bdae... let me be thick skinned here to propose vouchers... haha simpler right :p ... hint hint i need to get furniture from ikea...

hahaha sometimes really boey tahan myself.

alrighto! hope all of you can sense my happiness and xmas spirit... good news for my cell grp members i've started on your respective xmas presents already... hope that i finish them in time man~ there are so many to go. and also for my church friends including cg members pls try to schedule your 26th of dec free cos there's going to be a great feast at my place - steamboat! dear jay... perhaps u can make some of your mouth-watering shepherd's pie hiak hiak. my mum is even considering getting abalone~~~ muacks! love ya mum~

tis the season to be jolly~ fa la la la la la la la la ... *fading into the distance as lily skips happily away ;)*

piggish

2004-12-08T20:39:00.000+08:00

lily is becoming piggish... like her dear rah rah in msia ha :p woke up in the morning with my alarm and felt really weak as though i was running a temperature... as a result i slept the whole bloody day away and cancelled all my appointments, including work. i only woke up at 230pm to makan lunch and then went back to sleep. then woke up at 7pm only to realise that i have slept through my bible study and my ministry training at suntec church office. sighz.

i think i'm still more suited to a student's life for now than working. i enjoy the last minute bursts of inspiration, midnight oil burn, and adrenaline rushes of deadlines rather than the usual drudgery of squeezing with the working crowd during the peak times of 9am and 6pm in the mrts. work is boring... i mean i'm doing the same things over and over again with somehow no hope of completion. there is just no end! forever so many things to do. and fasting in makansutra is the most horrendous thing alive to do... bcos everyday i have to face photos of delicious food it was mad when i was trying hard to contain my hunger and looking at an amazing array of char kway teow, japanese food, burgers, western food, beef hor fun, braised duck... etc. and thank God that when i was fasting on thursday they did not have tea snacks muahahaha.

perhaps like what kai said i should balance my life. hmmmm. anyway its the holidays and i guess its time for the irrationality in me to be unleashed before school starts and there is no longer any room or breathing space to be irrational. its time to get serious with sch man. and the results for this sem is going to be released this xmas eve... my gosh. i hope it will be a real present for xmas rather than a big let-down. Jesus!!! its all in Your hands.

reminds me of the propagandistic save water campaign that most of us still see in tattered and worn stickers in old toilets and even in our homes... "save water... its all in your hands"

dear scud... sometimes it is choices in life that allow us to see what is important in our lives. with the option of the job offer or choosing to go for church svcs & cg, like what i said it is indeed a toughie to decide. but keep on praying and seeking God and i believe that He will open other doors for you. trust God that when you stand firm being obedient to Him, He will reward your willingness and obedience.

Matthew 6:33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

lily's nose is running away from her. help.

and the huge debate of doing honours in nus or not is still haunting me... with bell telling me that the school fees are going to be increased when we are doing honours and the take of other sociology students who maintain that its gonna be a huge heartache. should i or should i not? actually there is really no pt in doing if i can't do my thesis because my academic performance would look really bare on my CV without a personal thesis. oh God i don't know what is going to happen to my studies but i pray that i will live according to Your will for me which i will understand soon enough. Indeed Your ways and thoughts are always higher than ours and i pray that i will keep on trusting and believing. rah rah is not doing honours... bell is most likely not doing honours... argh all my close friends gone~ the thought of that makes me sianz already...

bored of this blog template. shall come out with something new soon.

till then~ God loves you and so do i. :)

2004-12-07T01:10:00.000+08:00

my deepest condolences to dave's grandpa passing away.

take care dearie. praying for ya. :)

chillin out again

2004-12-06T23:04:00.000+08:00

hiya folks...

first and foremost... applause for april who has graduated from bible school!!!

claps for liangwei and winson who received the certificate of theology yesterday~

no wonder my own folks find me mad... at 11:10pm i'm still chilling in my best guy friend jason's place surfing internet and enjoying watchin tv with him in his room... who says we cannot have platonic friendships in life man?!? i love him as a great brother in Christ. thank God for jason. :) his room is really cool in the sense that it is 'self-sufficient' lol he has his own water cooler/heater, laptop with wireless lan, telephone, and to top it all off... he just installed his 16 inch tv on the wall a week ago! boy he spent more than 1k+ on it all... wat a way to enjoy life man.

now with a new master bed room all to myself once i move to clementi... i really hafta start planning the format and layout of my room... the only thing confirmed is the shade : apple white...

ohhhh in love with zircon g88. its soooo pretty!!! but i wonder whether it really is wise to get a pda phone cos like what jason said... if u lose one u lose both. but its so frikkin' chio~

priced at $738 now without plan. urgh. mental note that flashed past: i'll marry anyone who buys me this now.

nah~ kidding. you think i can be bought for a price? wishful thinking :p

america's next top model is still as interesting as ever... poor shandi is out!

chilling at jay's place is darn cool. and i just had 2 glasses of bailey's with milk after a great dim sum dinner at din tai fung at paragon. man~ the xiao long bao spun me out of the world with that one little thing and some vinegar. the food there is just so so so delicious man~ but of course you pay in accordance to the quality. still singaporeans are suckers for good food even if it is pricey. the queue for the restaurant i mentioned was sooo long it reminded me of the hello kitty queue.

singaporeans are rich.
i'm not rich.
but i'm singaporean!
contradiction.

ah well life's full of contradictions.

had dim sum for tea break at makansutra today also... they feed us so well as though we are pigs at work... it was just 2 hrs after lunch mind you and there was chicken wings as well. i'm so gonna get fat even as my appetite has decreased drastically...

alrighto... gonna carry on watching tv with jay! :D enjoy ur monday night! God bless...

muacks and start preparing for xmas yah? ;)

longest post ever~

2004-12-06T01:53:00.000+08:00

Hi everybody...

It has definitely been one of the longest pauses in my blogging experiences for the past one week of a new phase of my life – working temp at makansutra for the holidays. I really feel so detached from technology because there is no internet connection for me at the office and then I have so many evening appointments... that by the time I reach home all I wanna do is to have a nice hot bathe, dry my hair, pray, read my bible, play my guitar ... the list goes on and sleep! My gosh I’m sooooo lacking in sleep. Is that what happens when you work? Oh well this is really my first time working full time during a holidays and there’s a certain part of it that regrets taking up this job because of all these time constrains. I look back at the carefree – yes and certainly poor – hols that I’ve had... all the impromptu sleepovers at my best friends’ places and the such. Ah well... its time to have a brief flashback of what happened in the past one week that I haven’t had the chance to record my little anecdotes in life.

Yes I stopped on tue at the Japanese buffet that me and angela went. Sorry damian! I’m still unable to get the name of the restaurant... will try to get it for ya asap k. only know that it is along the stretch of katong road and somemore ahead of the whole stretch of katong laksa and some cyber cafes at $1 per hour *chuckle*

Oh and there was Wednesday... my gosh I guess the logical part of me went missing when I went clubbing that night because of the sheer fact that I haven’t gone clubbing for such a looonnnngggg timeeeee!!! Its almost a year? Cos this sem I’m not staying in hall so I missed the usual bashes in nus and I really don’t remember going to any bashes for last semester. Ah, deprived me. But it was alllllll~ released on last wed hiak hiak. Cos it was ladies night, entry and drinks was free! managed to drag heshan, ram, morris, clement to come along with us as well! So me, erin and chi anh (yup we’re the self-proclaimed powerpuff trio) went ahead to the girls’ bar at dbl o and just stayed there at the counter while the bartender kept on looking suspiciously at us haha. Stayed at the counter and kept on ordering drinks… so in the span of half an hour... I downed 5 sex on the beach II (some concoction of cranberry juice and vodka – its killer material cos you don’t taste the liquor its hidden from the taste of the cranberry) 2 tequila shots and 1 vodka ribena... All in half an hour!!! aannndddd~ the most fascinating thing was that... within 5 minutes of entering dbl o... I had a guy who approached me wanting to know me. Haha the reasons I would give would be that

1) I was wearing heels, so probably I was easily half a head higher than the usual crowd
2) I had a chopstick in my hair cos I bunned my hair up :p
3) I was wearing a super duper short mini flare skirt muahahaha~

and in another 5 minutes after leaving the counter... I got approached by yet another guy… and this guy was suave man... he started the conversation with ...

"Hi nice to meet you! It’s cool to be chilling out huh? May I know your name?"

hahahaha.

To both of them I replied: "sorry I just came in and would like to dance. Later."And turned away.

Yoo hoo~ woman power.

well everyone was getting a bit mad at the deejay at dbl o cos it was boring trance and it was really IMPOSSIBLE to dance to... so me, clement my forever faithful freelance bf :p and erin decided to go ahead to zouk cos we heard that there was fabulous music there. And there really was!!! It was r&b and hip hop at zouk phuture with sooooo many ppl squeezing that you can really forget about dancing but let your fingers do the walking lol... buden... remember the silly meiyi who downed so much stuff in such a short time? ... an hour later... poor meiyi got the full brunt of the liquor at full force when the music was at its best... she puked.

ARGH~ spoiler. Didn’t enjoy myself at all cos my head was spinning and my legs went weak.

What’s worse, I got a terrible terrible hangover during the next day at work. I also slept 3 puny hours in hall only. My head was spinning so badly I couldn’t do anything proper at all without consciously telling myself to concentrate on my task at hand. I didn’t want to take a panadol cos I think it won’t be of much help... so I just downed loads and loads of water – a tip given by other colleagues in makansutra.

Haha and the peeps at makansutra were SHOCKED!!! That I actually went chionging! Hahaha they said... “fwah you look like the guai guai type... didn’t know you will go chionging one man!!!”
Ah well... never judge a book by its cover.

Alright that was wed night. On thu night... with the hangover effects still pounding in my head I decided to take a step of faith and attend churchwide bible study titled “How Do I Live?”. My gosh and it was certainly one of the relevant teachings for the time now with lawlessness and legalism rampant in many countries. Pastor Kong preached about antinomianism and how it is considered to be one of the sects of Christianity such that they believe in God as well, but that they don’t believe in the confession of sins and a progression and ever-growing continuum of holiness to be more and more like Christ. Well there’s also a whole load more and I really learnt a lot. Now I wanna collect my thoughts and I wanna be more assertive in defending my stand. I felt really bad when my colleagues asked me what church I was from...

“oh! City Harvest Church loh!”
immediate combined reaction from 2 of them :"Eeeeeeeeeee~~~"

I’m determined to change their perception of my church. I wonder what is wrong with this common perception of my church. Is it too ... passionate? Too commitment-based? Too much in the limelight with associations like He Yao Shan? Or just... too large? Well I’m determined to find out and to change this negative perception. The next time I tell someone I’m from CHC I want them to go... “Wow! That’s a great church that you attend!”

Ok now we get to fri night. Fri night I was finally released from an evening of commitments it seems cos I was released from going for one of the food tours organised by makansutra. But I kay-kiang lar. Wanted to keep fit so I jio-ed angela my honey bunny *lol* to gym at our usual clubfitt khatib gym. Then I also had a lot of motivation and inspiration from my second brother who ran 2.4km the last time I went to the gym with him. So this time I wanted to take my timing on the actual track... sigh it was so disappointing cos its so different from the treadmill! Hmmmmph, the unreliability of machines – I feel so cheated. I ran a timing of 14:29 which is just nice in the ‘good’ level. My gosh, the next level for “excellent” is 12:30... ARGH! I must reach that standard!!!! Hook or by crook!!!! In Jesus' Name!!!

Then my honey angie taught me some of the exercises that her coach taught her for her dragon-boat CCA and one of the exercises that we were pushed each other to complete was the knee-jerk-and-raise longbar set of 30. yes if it sounds familiar that is the common event that we see in the Olympics in which the athletes try to compete with each other to carry the most weights in accordance to their weight. Haha and we indeed raised quite a few eyebrows at 2 girls doing such big and vigorous exercises in the male-dominated space of the weights section. Angela is fit man!!! Way to go gal~~~

Anyway angie honey bunny dearie… if you are reading this post... hope you are feeling better. Like what we discussed before... the good men in the world are either taken up or are all dead. *haha no offence to any self-proclaimed ‘good man’ reading this... pardon me and I challenge you to try proving to me that I’m wrong :p* it is his loss for not appreciating you and I’m sure that one day there will be some part of him that will miss your companionship and your “ever-ready” spirit to accompany him in whatever stuff that he wants to do... be it in ktv or shopping or just chilling out together. Anyway my darling you’re a wonderful creation of Christ and I’m sure that someday you will find someone who will cherish, treasure and love you. That ‘cockroach’ is blind k. hmmmmph. I kill him or spray insecticide for you. Hahahaha. *evil laughter* anyway... the most if we are both eligible bachelorettes when we hit the age of 30 then we’ll just move into some place together and we’ll take care of each other! Haha like the pact that we promised each other right?? Don’t forget yah :p

That fri night I collapsed into bed without thinking... the moment my head touched the bed... I was immediately transported into dreamland. Tired like mad especially after clubbing, little sleep, work and GYM!!! Sometimes I really wanna stretch myself huh. Sighz.

Sat: slept till 3pm... hallelujah! God’s good all the time! Really replenished my sleep on sat shiok man. Then after that I went to meet up with my secondary class sch mates at harbourfront where we had pastamania. It was really nice chit-chatting as they are all as friendly and as nice as ever... they are my wonderful group of friends who did the 10-yr series and mugged together for the ‘O’ Levels... I remember us pushing each other to study after the prelims that we will definitely do better for the ‘O’ Levels... without these gals i would probably not have done so well and of course with the forever abundant grace of God. these wonderful gals are... in no order of preference... yiqin, eunice, yingting, jialing, hwee koon & lizhen! Yes sad right. 7 people for a “class gathering”. Ah well. It was an admirable effort. I think it was our 1st gathering in years man. And then we all decided that this coming Friday we’ll have a sleepover at yiqin’s place watching the incredibles and Lord of the Rings!! Then on sat morning we’ll just wake up and proceed straight to east coast to have a great time of cycling, rollerblading... and not to mention... suntanning!!! Yahoooo~ maybe not so much lah. But I believe somehow or other I’ll get tanned from that day out in the sun. hiak hiak. Cheers to a great tan.

Well it was through this gathering that I’ve decided my mode of celebration for my 21st bdae this year… my friends will all be divided into their respective clichés... so each cliché will be invited to my place in ang mo kio on different days to makan... so I’ll prepare some simple fare and we’ll have steamboat. I mean it’s good right. Low budget... won’t get chased away from mean-looking waiters or waitress and there’s amenities around like tv, music, toilet, sink, blar blar blar.

Clichés to bear in mind...
1) sec sch friends... cos almost of them are really enthusiastic about coming over
2) church + cell grp members… perhaps can combine with my ex-cg members of addy, kunming, weijian, jiawei, janice, desmond... and not to mention my best guy friend in church... Jason!! :D
3) jc buddies... this one if I leave out ahhh my head will be hanging somewhere else liao lol... ppl like my honey bunny angela, dearie mable, jojo, clara, meiling, huiphen, my daddy jacob!! and as many others that I can rope in
4) jc councillors... cos we’re meeting up for xmas celebration so perhaps I might be able to put something together when all of us are gathered
5) nus hall friends... probably would hafta wait till people like bills, kek, king, samantha, sze kiang are back from their exchange then we can celebrate in January when more people are around in hall. Don’t mind a belated bdae celebration just as long as everyone is around…
6) nus soci friends... my soci tutors of kelvin, noorman… and my buddies isabell and kevin and his other half... perhaps we can just go geylang and have supper!!! :D
7) my hk exchange peeps... I’ve another 2 overseas friends who are coming over in jan… can celebrate belated again lol.
8) my church chorus board ministry members... perhaps just meet up and makan lar.

ARGH~ going mad with organisation cos there are just so many individuals that just cannot fit into clichés... ah well I guess for these treasured and cherished individuals I would hafta meet up with them one to one... and yes that’s you my ‘sayang’ bryan lol... my first and last, one and only net friend that I met up whom we have kept in contact for the past 8 years or so, my freelance bf clement... my dear korkor chunwei... and not to mention my dearie rah rah~~~ you’re in msia how to celebrate sob sobz.

And before I end all these confusion just like that I wanna share a testimony...

My mummy wants to bless me with 500 bucks for my 21st bdae!!! Yay!!! I can get a new hp very very veryyyy sooonnnnnn~

And I’m gonna move to clementi very soon. We are scheduled to move before new year cos we’re getting the keys in jan. and I tell you ahhh my parents are really darlings… they are soooo thoughtful! Cos in this new 3-room flat, the usual room is the one that is facing the corridor. My mummy said…

"you’re a young girl and you always sleep so late. Later you leave the lights on at night and people peep in from the corridor then how?"
"chey... put curtains lar."
"no lah, me and daddy will take that room."
"oh."

-silence-

puzzled.

"then I take which room?"
"oh you take the master bedroom loh!"

fwah at that moment I really ‘zak-diok’ man. Me? Only one person... with the whole master bedroom to me, myself and I? When my folks are so willing to give it up to me without even asking for my views on the whole matter? Then I discussed about it with my folks... ok lah since I have so many barang barang of my books, soft toys, rubbish and the computer to occupy the space.

Never mind... there’s more.

Mummy: "and oh, the previous owners took down the walls of the storeroom"
"means what?”
"means that your master bedroom is bigger with the space of the storeroom added in loh"

I was stunned. Not only did I have the master bedroom, with my personal attached toilet, bathroom... but an additional space of the storeroom as well!!! ARGHHHH~~~ why is God sooooo ggggooooodddddd~

So that brings us to sun! which is today in which I spent a record 16 hours serving in church... I was there from 7am-11pm... Hallelujah. The House of God is my 2nd home already lol. I was serving in chorus board ministry the whole day – sighz didn’t do very well today genna a bad evaluation report from the songleader; but praise the Lord there's always room for improvement the next time i serve :p – for 3 consecutive services... run up run down... no time to take lunch also. Then after svc 6 at 4:30pm I rushed down to the coffeeshop to have an early dinner with my dear cg of liangwei, winson who just received a certificate of theology... clap clap clap, clare & baby, and april who graduated from bible school today with a stunning new beautiful hairstyle!!! *whistle... praise the Lord!!!* she’s really growing and glowing from glory to glory man I tell you. ;)

5pm I was back in church to prepare the materials for the SOT graduation scheduled to start at 7.30pm – only managed to get half of the chicken rice in. sobz. My appetite is going down like MAD... I only take about a quarter of what I used to take. Horrible. I think I’m poised to lose weight soon if this carries on.

Then I mentioned to ben that I’ll be moving to clementi soon... with all these wonderful things going on. And I suggested... why not we have cg at my place? Then its accessible from the mrt, don’t hafta take cab from clementi all the way into nus and my folks won’t be ard too cos they’ll both be working. And my room is definitely big enough to accommodate the people man. He said it was a great idea. I’ll then plan my room according to this man... its gonna be a conducive place to praise and worship... I promise myself, God and to my cgm... Hallelujah its so exciting! I told ben... please... please hold cg at my place so that I can drive the idols away with the overwhelming presence of God and leave this presence lingering at my place to bless my household. Heh heh. And I also can prepare little stuff and nick nacks for cg refreshments... hallelujah. I can’t wait to shift.

Ok enough. Talked so much. Hafta sleep liao. Soooo tired.

But I remember in Isaiah 1:19 “the willing and the obedient shall eat the good of the land”. God I pray for a double portion of blessing upon me as you have seen my willing, obedient and servant heart in serving you in ministry for the whole gruelling day... pray for an extra anointing and protection over those serving in ministry... may the Lord refresh you and allow you to accomplish things more efficiently than ever before. What you can previously cover in 2 hours, you can now finish it in 1!

Mon – meeting Jason for dinner and then surf net at his place. My home internet sucks. *thumbs down sign for NUS dialup*
Tue – prayer meeting in church and also some chorus board meeting for some special event
Wed – bible study at YMCA and then to rush down to suntec church office for sideboard chorus board training
Thu – Zone evangelistic meeting in church
Fri – gym? If only I can take it. Might die halfway on my way home judging from the whole week’s array of events…
+ Thu, Fri & Sat - not working but having sociology conference from 9-6pm. ARGH~
Sat - burnt.
Sun - praise God church.

Mon... again!!!

Jesus!!! Arghhhhhh so many things to do but only one lily!!! Multiply my time, efficiency, productivity and talents Jesus!!!

Thanks for reading through the longest entry of my blog so far. You are a survivor and an achiever. Hallelujah.

full man...

2004-12-01T00:43:00.000+08:00

tired from my 2nd day of work cos i realise that i've been filling up my evenings with toooooo much stuff. i'm seriously overloaded. all these meeting up with old friends are starting to take its toll on me man... and guess what its only tues!

well one good explanation to why i'm feeling so exhausted is that - i kinda brought it upon myself. i met up with my honey angela today for dinner and she brought me to the japanese restaurant that she used to work at -> somewhere along katong. ask me and i'll definitely bring you there... why? now read hard...

for only 12 bucks...

- get free ice water, green tea (big deal) lol
- steamboat buffet with stuff like straw mushrooms, mushrooms, salmon, fish, chicken, fishball, crabsticks... etc.
- little tasty pastries like strawberry and pandan cake
- desserts like jelly, green tea ice-cream, longan & rambutan, watermelon, guava, honey dew, papaya (heard from angela that i missed the banana milk dessert... darn~)
- not to mention the usual jap stuff like maki...
- and the BEST part of it all ... ... FREE FLOW OF SALMON SASHIMI

yes indeed it was killer. i had 5 full plates of salmon sashimi while me and angela smuggled choya plum sakae into the restaurant to sip together with the salmon... my gosh it was heavenly. the sakae taste becomes sooo sweet after having salmon in the mouth... and all the food tasted so much better with a bit of sakae. no wonder jap ppl always dine like that. its good stuff for only 12 bucks. right after everything... me and angela really felt like pregnant ladies... we were SOO full we had to slow down our walking pace to the bus stop to catch our breaths and bellies... lol

and while we were dining... i made use of angela's high tech hp to take photos and that was when i realised in horror where all the fat in me went to... on my face!!! sorry i still don have the photos... but when i have it i'll upload it with before and after... then you can see what a big difference there is... my cheeks are so much more chubbier and my chin is less sharp now... so scary!! i never realised it until i looked at the photos taken in her hp and former pics of me in her hp gallery... ahhhh the mystery of the missing 7kg is solved. hermmmm not quite. where did the rest go? :S

ogee dokie i gotta sleep. tml i'm going chionging at dbl o. :p my gosh... lesser sleep. i'm dying man... but at least i'm enjoying every moment of it :p

ya i'm asking for it. bye take care... and if u can do rest and sleep more... cos i want to be able to do that!! ahhhhhhh sooooo buuussssyyyyyy~

first day at wk

2004-11-29T23:40:00.000+08:00

i'm happy~~!!! first day of work was simply awesome... can you imagine spending 8 hours just staring at yummy food again and again... yes its a bit taxing on the eyes but the work is so simple and wonderful that i cannot believe it man. also the lady boss pat is a very cool motivational boss and she really has a knack to make people feel that they can be the best they wanna be in the company. and it was only my first day of meeting her and she actually offered me a "long-term" research assignment project for me to do with her! that means even after the holidays i might be able to carry on "temp-ing" for makansutra... cos she is really interested in history and food culture - which is what sociology is all about ... culture! like today i just learnt that tao sar piah is hokkien, not teochew. and that there is a whole literature on the history of the chilli crab but none of the black pepper crab. somehow it just evolved. haha. she went to ask the national archives on whether they have any research on that... and they actually asked her for her own research!!! Lol.

how nice it will look on my CV... honours degree with 3 years of experience in research... muahahaha~ i'll straight away go into poly and lecture. hmmmm i can do intro to sociology, or i can teach a whole module on sociology of food immediately! ahhhh how cool. i'm so glad that God is opening up doors for me even as i step into a new phase of my life to work for another company... that everything is interconnected so that i am able to apply my passion of sociology into reality as well...

then was supposed to meet up with rah rah and bell but guess what... bell was running a temperature... sighz, take care hor darling~. and thru some miscommunication on my part... i actually went to meet up with another friend terence so i could not meet up with rah rah~ sorry dear! i guess we'll meet up in january when you come back to singapore for another hellish ooops i mean heavenly semester in nus.

but it was a truly enjoyable evening out with terence because he is someone who never fails to inspire me... one way if i were to start out a business and be my own boss i would want to have that kind of confidence and optimism that he has. i want to surround myself with people like that... who are part of my future and will inspire me to be someone better. we wanted to watach movies at cineleisure but the timings were all off... had ice cream at marche and i shared with him about pastor robb thomson's sermon on the 7 essential friends in our life. that set him into some deep thought for a while... and he mentioned about coming back to church. hallelujah~ don't wanna pressure him... but will keep on praying that God will soften his heart for him to come back to church again :)

checked out cds at hmv (and saw youko at work! muacks~) ... then proceeded to sashay down the streets of orchard road admiring the xmas decors. well not that nice lar. both of us agreed that it would look awesome if they used silver and blue lightings than gold, red and green. the stretch of red along lucky plaza gave a new year feelings more than xmas. sigh. maybe they wanna recycle for new year next year. cheapskate man.

then we went to borders... and boy had we the laugh of our lives!!! we flipped through the most outrageous books around... such as one that claims to "improve your love life by 96% for the next 46 days" and suggested ridiculous things like pasting your partner's hair and pubic hair and spraying his aftershave/her perfume on the same page... hahaha me and terence went through every page laughing and laughing... cool book. then we were amazed with the advanced technology of the cd section because you can start listening to songs just by scanning the cd through a little machine ... and the song titles all come out! of course they are smart... each track only plays for one min. haha.

in the end terence bought a yoga and pilates book that had stunning and simple pictures of the various moves ... and that the book should be shared by the both of us haha~ cos we both need to keep fit man!

alrighto... wanna end off this blog with a great one-liner that me and terence laughed so hard at...

any part of you that touches me, you will not get it back.

sassy. :D

back here

2004-11-29T01:00:00.000+08:00

after trying so many different layouts... somehow i'm still the most comfortable with this one because it allows me to include my own graphics with minimal interruption with html script or other technicalities. hallelujah! the blog is finally up and running. i hope i won't get similar bad experiences again... sighz~

2nd day of freedom... morning spent with my family at yum cha in chinatown~ siew mai and har gau was good stuff but the rest are just so-so. nothing much to rave about actually. wonder how they actually got so many accolates from makansutra and other food reviews. had a good time chit chatting and laughing at stuff with my family members... hope to be able to organise more family gatherings like this when everyone is free and can sit down to share about their life ... or just to be able to catch a glimpse of them. ah well that sounds like me. my brothers always complain that i'm never around when they come home. ogee my fault. will try to come home for dinner more often when you guys are around.

afternoon was spent in the house of God - church. and service was taken by a visiting pastor Robb Thomson and the sermon was just mind-blowing. cos the sermon is not about christianity per se, but on relationships and how we should be a friend to each other. the following are my sermon notes... hope that they inspire you to be a better friend to the people around u...

the pillars of greatness : relationship

- God can never celebrate u publicly until He tutors u privately
- foundation is to dig things out and to put our foundation in : just digging out - our life will collapse!
- mk 2:1-4 - i will not fail as your friend until i get u to succeed -> push up the stretcher to ladder
- Jesus saw faith of the 4 friends! Not the faith of the paralytic!
- everyone needs 4 crazy friends - wild, passionate, fanatics, extreme
- hinderance : not character, creeps in thru weakest link of our circle of friends-> satan has its hold thru your weakest friends.
- antinomianism - the belief that you don't need and moral law -> is a compromise -> spirit is saved so whatever i do does not matter cos i am saved -> wants ppl to enjoy life -> not destroy but distract us -> agst laws of God -> 'why put urself thru so much pain'? whats e big deal? -> enemy!
- how 2 stop one from fulfilling one's dreams -> by giving u a 2nd one -> deal with self
- 2 tim 2:19 iniquity : mystery, subversive - undermine and dwindle down
- ps 119

1) ppl of yesterday -> always trying to drag you to the past e.g. david's brothers
2) today ppl -> those that are willing to accept you in the state where they first met you - i've got their blessing? Jealousy - what u have reminds me of what God did not give me
3) future bearers : those who are undeniably tied to helping you enter the future
- walk, help with us
- never-ending quest to search for ppl like that or else your life is over
consequences - rewards that we receive of what we do when we don't put it at His feet - everything done in life has a consequence

i won't do wrong even if i want to bcos they (my friends) won't let me
prov 27:6 friends in your life to be there for you

the 7 most essential ppl in your life
1. Those who motivate you to OBEY.
-> don be a compromiser
-> daniel & friends stood by each other
-> job 36:11-12 life is so mediocre u'll never know what u missed

2. Those who are guided by their CHARACTER
-> gen 39:9
-> joseph & portiphar
-> how can i sin agst 'God' driven by character than situations that det

3. Those who are assigned to your FUTURE
-> care enuf abt u in what is going to happen in e future
-> prov 3:27
-> part of my tomorrows
-> not mutual usage - don cheat/deceive/destroy someone of their harvest who sowed into u

4. Those who DEFEND you in your absence
-> ppl are 2-faced
-> 1 sam 20:30-34 jonathan
-> stand up & defend

5. Those who FEAR GOD more than they love you

6. Those who unlock your GRATITUDE - mother of all virtues
-> 1 sam 25:30-33 abigail, nabel
-> abigail fell on her face b4 david - my husband is an idiot
-> every person has a king and warrior in them
-> want to live in dat envt

7. Those who inspire you to SOW
-> sower, just want to be a giver
-> 1 chr 29:1-2 - david inspired e ppl to give -> paid 4 temple twice
-> givers or takers in life
-> only fun when u buy things for others
-> outcome det by seed u sow

i hope these sketchy notes will be a help... please go to the various bible verses to really get to the heart of the matter...

starting work tomorrow at makansutra... no more freedom~~~

YET... :p

mon: out with bell and rah rah
tue: out with angie
wed: out at dbl o
thu: out in church for bible study
fri: -clear for now-
sat: out with mum
sun: church & ministry!

hahahahhaa holidays are just smashing!

gonna go to bed already... wish me all the best for my first day at work. tataz.

release

2004-11-27T17:52:00.000+08:00

today 27th of nov is my first day of freedom...

freedom from all the exhausting studying day after day... night after night. how apt it is to also be taking a module called sociology of education this semester, that raises questions on the education system in society and especially the 'examination and streaming hell' in singapore. the educational paper was bad... felt that i wrote really out of point. but... the paper is no longer in my hands but in my Father's. i pray that i'll be able to do well to glorify His name and to be a shiny testimony to Him.

last night i was out in town with bell and i really relish that freedom of time... to be able to do whatever i want because there is no longer any other agenda on my mind... freedom is intoxicating~

reached home at 8 o'clock and tried on my new mini skirt that i bought while shopping with bell in orchard... its really shockingly short i tell you haha~ i bought it just in mind for this wednesday in which i'll be chionging at dbl O with my hall friends... woo hoo~ i love holidays

then i decided to go for a jog around my neighbourhood - one word - fascinating. what a shame that i only can explore my mini ang mo kio world when i'm moving in 2 months time to another place...

ran to the block that seems to be the tallest in my precinct - 25 floors and took on a personal challenge to climb to the very top. i've never felt better with a great sense of achievement when i was standing on the 25th floor and the breeze blew right into me... reminding how great it is to be alive and to be mobile with a functional and healthy body that the Lord has given me.

then i started jogging again... with so many unexpected discoveries on the way...
- loads of hawker centres that i never dined at
- a McDonalds that i could have studied at
- like 5 clinics in a row?
- comic stores *hiak hiak*

i remember what Oldenburg mentioned in his reading of the 'Third Place' as somewhere for people to interact yet is a place with no barriers, no cost and is free and easy. this used to be in the form of taverns in the traditional societies where people can just sit around and chit chat. this 'third place' will also bring a boost to the civil space in society in order to allow the society to be more democratic with more discussions and debates. sadly from that sentence you know that singapore is in severe lack of such arenas... i lament.

yet i thought i found a 3rd place. it was 2 playgrounds and 2 badminton courts together at the space in between 2 HDB blocks... a place where people were engaged in sports, families were lazing around in the chairs watching their children playing at the playgrds, even teenagers lazing on the slides! lol. i was red-faced, tired from challenging the steps at the overhead bridge and also shared in the whole lazy atmosphere of passive watching leisure with my apt chill out music blasting from my faithful mp3 player. i felt that the whole environment was conducive for a 'third place' but i realised... there was hardly any interaction between the different spots of the slides, playgrounds, chairs and the badminton courts. i was only a passive viewer, i wasn't contributing to any interaction myself. i lament again for the apathetic mood in singapore.

whatever it is... after this late night jog... i felt that i've found another part of myself. the thinking, nostalgic and sociological me. i cannot stop looking at things from a sociological point of view... it has morphed and attached itself to me such that i cannot shake it off nor ignore it.

i've found the independent me. i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

i can climb 25 floors in one shot.
i can excel in my studies.
i can master the guitar.
i can sing better.

i can choose to be happy.

i refuse to be lost.

Descartes ~ I think, therefore I exist.

the remants of philosophy that has also attached itself to me after taking intro to philo this sem...

another typical night

2004-11-21T06:39:00.000+08:00

time: 6:37am

yes its another night without sleep. another day with less than 5 hrs of sleep. but i'm sustaining and trying to absorb as much as i can. it is really this point of time that i'm living purely on God's grace... without it i'll be dead meat man.

spent almost the whole night doing 1 past sem philosophy paper. my gosh~ 20 MCQs never seemed more challenging... cos every answer is a thesis of itself! ARGH~ philosophy kills brain cells.

zoning out. don't be surprised if i faint in church service later. sighz killing myself man.

anyway last friday i only slept 3 hours and went to gym with my 2nd bro. collapsed into bed that night man. soooo fatigued!

alrighto going to breakfast of toast, eggs and coffee with rah rah dear now...

i'm a survivor!

assured and happy

2004-11-20T12:20:00.000+08:00

today was simply wonderful...

covered 1 reading in less than an hour... this reading on the status of Malays in Singapore that covers the history, educational status and economic standing since colonial time till now. Kudos to Tamia Li for writing a coherent, easy to understand sociological paper! its a different story when i look at Bourdieu... oh well me and resham both agreed that French people try to pretend that they are knowledgeable by writing cheem cheem stuff ... like my lecturer Anne Raffin haha. but she's adorable... the way she says money is 'ma-neh' and she will go ... 'its all about ma-neh ma-neh ma-neh' all the time... 3 times. ha :p

and my dear bell... let's just be thankful that we have the height even though we are deficient in something else... :p too sensitive and 'delicate' to be mentioned here... don't be so 'weary' ogee? haha you da moss gal~ we'll find a guy who will appreciate our 'whole package' heh heh. well anyway i'm still sticking to the notion of challenging the widespread perception of a grouchy single 30+ successful woman... hahaha and yes i nearly laughed to death again... the next time i also will wear white to my papers... with the power of the PAP behind me!!! yoo hoo~ nothing can cross us man...

not forgetting my darling rah rah... i know whatever i say now sounds empty because everything now seems so hard... with the plagiarism nonsense and with the awful paper this morning AND with all the turmoil that you had to go through the past week or so... just wanna say what i always have been saying... God's grace is overwhelmingly abundant and its available to all of us who seek Him. He's our place of refuge, our strength and our portion forever. even when everything seems helpless... our identity in Him is firm and will not be shaken even in harsh circumstances! ok ... it seems like we are like paul who was thrown in jail... just that we are thrown in the jail of NUS but let us believe that when we seek God first, all these things that we desire will be added to us. jia you dearie :) another week and it will all be over... and we can go chilling out in bugis already... go mad shopping!!! :D snatch all the xmas bargains and discounts!!!

actually i was calling and sms-ing ppl to have dinner with me... but to no avail. but God always has surprises for me ... even for this evening as well.

was eating despondently alone in NUS McD's when i suddenly saw this group of hall seniors in which i used to passionately play warcraft with... they call themselves the OO clan haha. so according to the first alphabet of your name you add OO to it... so for me it would be mOO or lOO lah hahahaha... of course mOO would sound better haha. jayne, kah weng, henry, matthew, oye, and bOO haha. sounds the cutest. chatted a bit while they all called me 'chao mugger' cos i was reading my philosophy readings while munching on my mcchicken and fries... miss playing wc with them... play till the middle of the night like 4-5am then study... then go and have breakfast then sleep. ahhh i miss this kind of lifestyle man. speaking of which jiunwei was telling me that they were playing wc on thursday night... darn!! i wanna play with them too... but my skills are confirmed rusty already. sighz. never mind just play and listen to them shout across rooms to each other hahaha.

then i saw this group of 2nd years which i chatted a bit to... then i saw my old cliche of hall buddies... heshan, weekiat and eric with vanessa and faizal. of course i went over and talked and really had the laugh of my life at the hilarious pranks that they played on each other... let me tell ya these people are really jobless. like eric and this other guy called ram... they were too free and had a whole surplus of condoms on their hands bcos they had a condom sponser for hall concert bash this semester... so they went around opening the condoms and put those sticky buggers through the door handles of unfortunate souls... ARGH and cos they were transparent... you didn't really notice it until you TOUCH it.... hahahaha... these pranksters are darn creative i tell you. the hilarious thing was that they actually stuffed a few surplus 'opened' ones into sid's jogging shoes (these guys... they planned it... they knew that he was going for a jog that evening) and sid only realised when he ran all the way to Har Paw Villa from hall!!! that whole frikkin distance he ran... with the slimy condoms right at the front of his jogging shoes!!!!!! ARGHHHH grosssssss~ and when he found out... he didn't throw them away... he stuffed them into his pockets as 'evidence'!!! eeeewwww~

and there was another one that i laughed till i cried... cos heshan and eric just got back into their rooms after bfast... they decided to take a nap and latched their doors. also it was fogging day... to kill all the mosquitoes sucking on residents' blood. this guy ram... he sliently opened the door a bit and stuffed a slipper into the gap... so that one cannot open or close the door. imagine their shock when they woke up almost suffocating and their whole room was white full of the fog in their faces!!! HAHAHA... and they realised that they could not get out nor close the door... and the fog was coming into their rooms at full force lol.

then we decided to leave to go back and mug after all that guilt at laughing and eating mcflurry... and i met chi anh and neeti!! hee hee they are part of that earlier hall cliche too and we excitedly hugged each other... we haven't seen each other for such a long time already! they were on their way to mug at engineering canteen which is next to McD ... since i haven't seen them for a long time... i decided to join them to spend some time with them... each moment is so precious. miss each and everyone of them. i have always felt that it was a pity to let these friendships go because i'm no longer staying in hall so i don't get to see them that often and cultivate the friendships.

after that... had to come back to th cos i was feeling all sticky and oily ... sighz. facial oil... my face was gleaming man. and guess what... i met galih and pipit!!! pipit was my former room mate so you can imagine how excited we were when we met each other... yes yes we hugged ahaha. then chit chatted a bit and gal you look good in a tudung! ooops hope i spelt that correctly. i'm so glad that they wanted to see more of me... that they missed me too. so we arranged to meet up tomorrow to study together... simply awesome.

hall friendships are valuable. so valuable that it aches my heart to see each of them so infrequently... cos out of all these people that i have mentioned... none of them are in the faculty of arts and so i don't even get to see them when i go to school. and another batch of friends are going overseas on exchange next semester like weekiat, sid and yuanli... sweden and france respectively. enjoy yourselves man!! and then bills, kek, sze kiang, king and samantha would be back... haha. turnover of friends. oh all the best for Asian Varsity Games in Indonesia this coming Dec weekiat... thrash all the rest of your opponents!! haha weekiat was the head of the swimming team when i was in swimming team for year 2... yes yes i'm not in the competition team just the 'recre' but hey... i did make some improvement k. hmmmph. at least i can swim freestyle for one lap. haha. go orc go!

ok... that's quite enough for a post... gotta go bathe liao and mug somemore. feeling confident of thrashing the papers this sem... chaarrrgggeeee~ with the power of the whites ... PAP!

oh bell i don't have black belt leh. balderdash! :p

all the best to those having exams... its going to be over really soon! its the last lap... go for it!

and oh really hooked on keane's sunshine... cannot stop repeating it... heeellllpppppp~

never say never

2004-11-19T07:40:00.000+08:00

lesson of the night: never sit in front of the computer while trying to mug. will have a very high skewed tendency to waste time via the computer and Internet as the main culprit. tend to blog out of point or weird stuff that i won't blog if i am slightly more clear-headed

time: 7.38am

bell and elizabeth having mass media paper today! charrrgggeeeeee ~ kill bill style. haha. clean and sharp. not really clean with all the blood spluttering ard. but all the best gals!

getting blur. don think another portion of coffee, red bull or chicken essence will suffice. maybe another portion of Jesus. aha.

just one touch from Jesus and we are never the same again.

awwwww~

2004-11-19T05:42:00.000+08:00

time: 5.22am
activities: multi-tasking with studying, listening to music, chatting to sarah...

and i scored 95/100 out of a friendship test that sarah created!! hur hur hur~ nowwww see who can beat me. heh. i'm the winner hands down man! sarah i'm confirm champion.

yes... with the exams nearer with every second we the uni 3rd yr undergrads are doing silly things in the middle of the night... or morning.

i just had to record this down... cos haven't been talking to qizheng for a few weeks it seems and so i decided to msg him just to say hi. like there are many people on my msn but only that few that i really will double click and spend time talking to them. and as i was talking to him he made this remark that really touched my heart...

* M e i Y i * yay sarah is ze best says:
jus wanna let u know that u are one of those i msg on my msn... rather than just a 'parking space'

$tän:MA Wk 11~ ~: Ok pple, U can send me your files asap... says:
thats darn nice....

$tän:MA Wk 11~ ~: Ok pple, U can send me your files asap... says:
oh, n for the record, u r in a contact group on my msn that says: the People who really matter to me

awwwwwww~~~ yes maybe a bit buaya-ish but... i knew he meant it. reminds me of kek. haha the 2 crocodiles from msia who swam over to sg. kek is another wonderful guy with a kind character but chooses to portray himself as someone corny and also horny... argh~ change kek change!!! or else no attractive gals will fall for u when they look into the folders of 'physics', 'chemistry', etc and find dubious material!!! hahahhaa just joking dear. anyway u yourself mentioned it right?

oh u renamed them already? darn~

for these kind of comps... never go for ctrl+f u'll regret it when u type file extensions like .mpeg .mov etc. and dubious folder names like science... when he's a business undergrad. hahahaha. kek u hafta change kz? i'll help u to change by formating your comp once every 2 days :D enough or not... and cannot burn CD hor.

time: 5.36am
feeling: tired yet sustained with caffeine and abundant grace from the Lord

chargeeeee~ mug somemore. then going gym with my 2nd bro in the evening. yay! love spending time with my family members. and i hope that all will go well with my eldest bro with his super ultra tough exams with his architect practice... will be praying for you. it won't turn out to be THAT bad lar~

always look on the bright side of life... *whistle*

and i love snoop dogg!!! drop it like its hot... and i adore pharrell too!!! i have supported pharrell since his first hit on launch.yahoo.com Frontin' ... he's so cute and cool haha.